Category: Bad News

(just in time for New Year’s Eve!

So let’s stagger on with the news:

...that’s because they have less to give, plus they have high standards for service which today’s snowflake yoof can’t provide.

...just out of curiosity:  when the fuck did a couple’s sleeping arrangements move into the public domain?

...because of course they are.

In the Dept. of Education:

...and he did, by golly.

News from the Animal World:

...I’m just surprised he didn’t beat it to death with his huge clanging brass balls.

...keyword:  Florida (duh).

Immigration News:

...fuck me, when the place is getting too rough for Superman…

And speaking of crime:

...this item sponsored by Captain Obvious breakfast cereal.

In Sex Medicine News:

...burned through that first upgrade already, huh?

Now it’s the turn of link-free INSIGNIFICA:

 

And in Showbiz News:

...relax, no pics of Gwynnie.  Instead, let’s look back at her Mom, Blythe Danner, who always was a hottie:

She was (and still is) classier than her silly daughter.

And she’s still a GILF (in her 80s, FFS):

We should all age that well…

And remember, kids:  the Comments are open field in the Roundups.  Play nicely.

Let’s start off with a little news about Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...keyword:  Australia.

...so we ban people, then?  Or wait:  if we can reduce Glueball Wormening by a little judicious population pruning, I gotta list.

...and the loss in oil-related revenues will be made up from…?

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project comes this:

…

…ummm if yer gonna slag off Jews, you might not want to do it in Miami.  And this just in from Church Chronicles, Islam Division:

...yeah, we all know that ain’t no way to treat a lady — I guess the Muzzies just didn’t get the memo.

In LGBTOSTFU News:

...any bets on the length of his/her jail time, if any?  Anybody?  Bueller?

And in the Dept. of Education:

...see above.

From the Health Department:

...so the choice is:  die or become a vegetable?

...as opposed to down your throat?

Economics News:

...and not just during the holidays, Sparky.

...so Japs are playing the long game in the Let’s Conquer America thing, then.

Further Immigration News:

...fucking hell, if California has become too skanky for Nikki Sixx...

And a Christmas piece:

...could that be a metaphor about the death of Christmas?  I report, you decide.

And in link-free INSIGNIFICA:

 

And in Liz News:

...it’s been a while.  I’m sorry...

That should do, for a while anyway.  Still one of the better ways to show the end of the news.

...aren’t we all, honey.

...we aren’t, unless you exclude inner-city Black neighborhood gangs;  but I fucking wish we were, then maybe we’d get a little respect.

Let’s continue with some Election News:

...more, much more in the Commie/Blue states.  And therefore:

…unfortunately, the “plan” involves giving more power to the states which, as the criminal states are all Blue, means nothing will be done.

Internationally:

...I guess even Labour’s not interested in securing the Tranny Vote in Brighton.

In the Let’s All Panic !!!!! Department:

...which means OMG it’s Lockdown Fascemask Time again!  Or not.

And in the Great Cultural Assimilation Experiment:

...can’t see why all the fuss;  after all, it’s probably legal to buy children in Tunisia.  And surprise, surprise:  he’d overstayed his visa.

Let’s not forget Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...I didn’t even know they had bears in Japan.

...which, if you believe that La Swift is in fact the AntiChrist, makes all sorts of sense.

Related to the Glueball JewHate thing:

...as much as I support the Izzies, I can’t support this one — because having State pull this kind of trick is not a good precedent, because there’s no telling what they’d do during the next Republican administration.

...I guess that “laboratory of the states” thing is still popular, even though it fucks with the Constitution occasionally.

In Church News:

...key phrase:  Church Of England.  No wonder the imams are becoming more popular Over There.

In Sex News:

...goodbye OnlyFans, boo hoo.

Yes, it’s INSIGNIFICA time:

...no idea who she is, of course, but whatever:

Not what I’d call “busty”, but everyone sing along:

♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “Oh, she gets by with a lotta help from her bra” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

Could the news possibly be any worse, I ask?  I report;  you decide.

...given some of the rulings I’ve seen recently, I think they’ve been doing that for years.  Key word:  Britishland.  Also, see next item:

...’nuff said.

From the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:

...subject to the delays caused by the usual EPA “checks”, by which time everyone in the state will have died of cold already.  And:  Illinois?

In Business Medicine News:

...more like YAY! YAY! YAY!  but whatever.

From the Department of Corrections:

...giving a whole new meaning to the term “prison screw”.

...must have found Epstein’s client list.  Also:

And in the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

…

...just execute the little bitch and make her a martyr for Allah.

And speaking of martyrs:

...I guess Jahweh is mightier than Allah?  We atheists get confused.

In Lawn Order News:

...as well they should.  But I was told there would be landmines...

...key word:  Oregon.

...better late than never.  Keyword:  Scotland.

And in Election News:

...and pretty much every year.  Key name:  Wrong Way McDaniel.

In other Entertainment News:

...faked it that long, eh?  Good practice for when you’re married.

...we all knew that, hun.

In the blessedly-link-free INSIGNIFICA:

      

...okay, I’ve always had the hots for this little ginger shrimp, even though a) Australian and b) terrible taste in husbands.

And that’s all the news fit to worry about.

(Ad may have been slightly edited to bring it up to date, because nobody wants a Buick anymore…)

Some news you may not have been aware of:

...not to mention that 75,000-mile “new battery” cost.

...wait, what?

...okay, that’s more like it.

From the Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© Dept.:

...you know, there are times when I think we can learn a lot from the French.

In Entertainment News:

...007(a) and 007(b)?

From the Glueball Jewhate News Desk:

...but if I were to do the same outside some mosque shouting “Drown Gaza City!” the response would be a lot swifter, and more severe.

And a “new” development in the Great Cultural Assimilation Program:

...no doubt, on his third or fourth illegal entry into the U.S. via our “secure” border.

In Election News:

...”and that’s only if she campaigns topless from now on”.

And in International News:

...”because we terrorists have to stick together, right?”

In Animal News:

...is it too much to hope that it was a Birkenstock?

And in INSIGNIFICA:

    ...the ducal dildo?
 

…

Finally, in somewhat-more-palatable Showbiz News:

...just so you all know what the poor man had to deal with, here she is:

Looking a little more perverse, so to speak:

And still not bad, even though a (fake) blonde:

The line to be her next co-star forms over here, behind me.