Category: Bad News

For my non-Murkin Readers, it’s pronounced “knee-high”.  And speaking of getting your knees up:

...and if you don’t know who Liz Jones is, you’re so much the better for it.

As for the Usual Suspects:

…

Still on those assholes:

...hey, if it worked for their prophet… besides, you need to go younger and younger to get ’em while they’re still fresh — especially in Iran, it seems.

Let’s hear it from Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...wait:  you mean only allowing harvesting or plowing on Tuesdays and Thursdays could affect crop yields?  Who knew?

And in parallel stupidity:

...let’s give this one a try.  Born with a penis:  man.  If not, a woman.  Then there’s always that XX/XY chromosome test thing, as a fallback.

Time for that EVERYBODY PANIC!!! thing:

...and:

...both come courtesy of the Daily Mail, of course.

In Election News:

…

And in Health News:

...and at the risk of sounding old-fashioned an’ stuff, this never used to happen when doctors kept actual paper files on their patients.

Time for a new department, Totalititarian Chronicles:

...getting a little ahead of ourselves, are we?

And in link-free 

 

And returning to the “knees-up” theme from the top:

...of course she does, she’s Roller Girl:

 

 

 

And that’s it for the news.

I’m so old I can even remember that horrible shit.  (The toothpaste, not the women.)

And speaking of unspeakable women:

...methinks you need to go easy on that breakfast wine, Nancy.

In Election News:

...I was hoping she’d pick ILGov Fatboi Pritzker, just for the comedy value.  But this Minnesoduh Commie will do just as well.

...somebody remind me again:  by how much was Hillary Clinton leading Trump at this point in 2016?

From mostly-peaceful Britishland:

...yeah, good luck with that. Ask the Aussies how that worked out for them.

...but those anti-Israeli “From the river to the sea” rioters?  Anyone been jailed for those yet?  Asking for a friend.

And in Health News:

…

From the Africa Wins Again news desk:

...key statement:  “Some equipment from Air Base 201 was shipped out, such as weaponry, but other equipment was left behind.”  Of course it was.  We have so much shit we can just throw it away.

...and in an email Reader Mike S. asks, quite reasonably:  “What fucking moron builds a resort hotel in Somalia?”

From the Dept of Education:

...pedo orgs have a hierachy?  Who knew?  Also:  this time it’s not a female teacher.  Amazing.

In Showbiz News:

...well, at least he’s half-right, which in Hollywood isn’t bad.  Of course, to them he’s half-right, too — just not on which one.

And in the obligatory EVERYBODY PANIC!!!! section:

...Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©:  is there anything it CAN’T do?

And now your favorite section, that of link-free  

       ...wives?  and: …WTF is a “situationship”?

...not going to go there — unless, of course, she’s got Jeffrey Epstein’s client list.

...well now, let’s take a look at this alleged miscreant:

If she’s Colombian, why is she holding up a Swedish flag?  Nemmind:

And that can wash that news right out of our hair.

Yeah well, screw the Gummint.  Stale bread is horrible.  As is the news this week.

...I’m so old, I remember the regulation mandating that any federal employee found delinquent in their taxes be summarily fired.

In Election News:

...guilt about what?  Civilization?  Ending slavery?  [3,000 other random benefits to mankind omitted for space reasons… and while we’re there, space travel as well]

...hope he got that in cash.  Just sayin’.

Keeping the assholes at bay:

...don’t fuck mess with Texas.

In Global Jew Hate News:

...and when they get all revolutionary and jihad-y, it will make it easier to nuke them right there.

And:

...I’d have put them side by side, but no doubt the Izzies would have been equally offended.

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

…

Let’s hear it for Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...and nobody (except anyone with common sense) saw it coming.

And contemplating the naval:

...actually, they’re just hiding them from Ukrainian drones.

...and about time.

Let’s see what inane shit comes out of 

       

...and just so we all know, “soft swinging” is defined as having sex with your regular partner in the same room with others also having sex with their partners, but without swapsies.  No big deal;  our close circle of friends did it all the way through college, back in the ’70s.  It was kinda fun.

And in Romance News:

...and for those of you who had forgotten about Lucy (and shame in you if you did), here’s a little memory-jogger or two:

And I believe that’s about all the silly news we can handle for now.

So in we dive, to swim through the murky waters of recent events.

In Political News:

...forget it, Glenn;  they could start loading them onto trains, and these idiots would still be voting for Democrats at the Skokie El station polling booth.

...and we are surprised by this, because…?

Dispatches from the War Between The Sexes:

...yeah, in my yoot I used to try this line on recalcitrant women;  never worked.

From the Police Blotter:

...hey, it’s not like the corpus delicti was gonna need it, right?

In Medical News:

…

And:

...maybe in some Socialist parallel universe.

…

In Nutrition News:

…

Speaking of the latter sports equipment, here’s a report from Paris:

...and here I thought prossies were legal in France.

...that’s just what the French refer to as “bleu”, kids.  And it’s not even boiled, either.

And in related news:

...or the U.S. could just tell the Olympic Committee to take a hike and let some shithole like Kyrgyzstan host their little spectacle instead.

And in today’s 

...no link because eeek.

...that trannie thing just isn’t working for you, Nancy, is it?

And in :

...not her normal look, mind you:

And not her usual immaculate self:

But that’s enough news for the day.