“Well Kim,” you may ask, “how was your trip to the tax guy yesterday?”
About the same as your dog getting its temperature taken for the first time:
What I love most about the tax code for retirees is that no matter how large the “contributions” you paid into SocSec, you don’t get enough to live on when you do finally retire; then as a retiree, when you earn a little extra money trying to make ends meet, your SocSec income is taxed.
So how do I really feel?
News so gloomy, you’re going to need (another) G&T.
…just wait till they try this in the men’s jail.
…in a couple of centuries’ time, they’ll probably pardon all those pedophile priests.
…never thought I’d call the time of syphilis and gonorrhea “the good old days”.
…and in the background, the shuttered nuclear power stations are chuckling.
…the ten million men similarly affected? Fuck ’em, they should know better.
…and is promptly arrested for promoting animal abuse.
…
…or, the annual income from just two slot machines.
From the Dept. of Covidiocy:
…proving once again that Brits are undersexed.
…and this is bad news because the scumbag survived, even though shot six times by Our Hero. Prolly used a Glock 9mm.
And now comes the INSIGNIFICA:
And speaking of women who could fake their orgasms and nobody would care:
And that’s today’s (and yesterday’s, and the day before’s, etc.) news.
Happily, I speak not using the current meaning of the word “ejaculate”, but from the Latin combination of ex (out of) + iaculere (throw). So in the traditional sense, I mean to “exclaim” or “cry out”. (Incidentally, the same is true of “exclaim”: ex + clamare — to shout.)
And all because of this statement:
Sean Penn has claimed “cowardly genes” have led people to “surrender their jeans and put on a skirt”. The actor was asked about his views on masculinity by the Independent, after stating that he “believes that men in American culture have become wildly feminised” in a prior interview. Asked to clarify his comments, Penn said: “I think that men have, in my view, become quite feminised.”
Now, not that Sean Penn should be taken as an authority on anything, of course, but as Longtime Friend Trevor (who sent me the link) remarked: “You were vilified for saying the same thing years ago.” And indeed I was, when I published The Pussification Of The Western Male lo so many years ago.
What’s really interesting was that I was complaining about the girlymen of the 1990s; the girlymen of today would make those guys look like John Wayne by comparison.
And rather than link back, I’ve decided just to re-publish the old thing under the fold: Read more
From Longtime Reader Chaz (who had obviously taken his Grumpy Pill earlier), I got this response to yesterday’s post about driving around Italy with a gorgeous actress by your side:
As the son of an actress and a barrister, born to the stage, I have to tell you that the very idea of being obliged to drive an actress, any actress, the length of a country, any country, in a car, any car, is for me a much less than appealing prospect.
Damn it all, man, most of your cars don’t even have a back seat for her to back-seat-drive from.
Were I blackmailed or otherwise coerced into doing this I would select the fastest car and get the whole wretched business over as quickly as possible. Whichever actress came with the car could jolly well keep schtum or ride the rest of the way in the trunk (note effortless use of correct US terminology).
My choice (definitely assuming your stipulation of ‘no breakdowns’) would be the Alvis Stalwart.
And ideally no passengers. One of my recurrent nightmares used to be that of being confined for a fortnight to a compartment on the Trans-Siberian Railway with the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. As the poor fellow is no longer with us perhaps this one will now subside.
It had me howling with laughter all the way through.
Especially at the vision of Chaz trying to maneuver the Stalwart through some of those teeny Italian village streets…
I understand the problems associated with actresses (having been once married to one) and the exasperating experience of highly-strung, unreliable old cars (former Fiat driver), but none of that compares to the absolute joy of piloting either of them at full speed, so to speak. In other words, it would be well worth the hassle.
All that said, I nearly wimped out with my choice because, as y’all know, it’s an unbelievably difficult choice: which gorgeous car? which gorgeous woman? It’s a conjoint analysis with so many factors…
…but Gina Lollobrigida and the Austin-Healey combine throbbing sexuality with throbbing automotive power, so #3 ends up being my ultimate choice.
Next Sunday’s post will feature a similar set of gut-wrenching choices.
******************UPDATE: I ordered the Howa**********************
As my Loyal Readers all know, our Boomershoot CZ 557 rifle was most foully stolen from my house during the Great Flood Catastrophe Of 2021. (I say “our” because I was simply holding it for whoever the raffle winner might be.)
I have been waiting patiently to replace the damn thing, but I despair. I’m on about six gun outlets’ waiting list, but time is getting tight and if I want to take it up to Boomershoot 2022 to see if it’s fit for purpose, I need to get one of similar quality — PROVIDED that none of the current (and I have to say, most patient) ticketholders object.
The one I’m looking at as a replacement for the CZ 557 is this one:
It’s the Howa Chassis Rifle (HCR), chambered in .308 Win/7.62x51mm NATO (here’s a review which should tell you everything you need to know about it).
I found one, it’s in stock, black as pictured, and the dealer is holding it for me. All I need is ticketholder approval and it will be on its way to me tomorrow.
Responses in Comments, ASAP please.
Fishing in that Moody River. Guess what riff I can’t get out of my head…