Author: Kim du Toit

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:

“I’m 40 and my boyfriend is 43. We’ve been together for ten years.

“My partner’s sexual fantasy was to watch me have sex with another man.

“Ever since we met, he’s shared that his fantasy is to watch another man have sex with me. Over the past few years, he’s become preoccupied with trying it in real life.

“At first, I was resistant. I am a one-man woman. But the more he asked, the more I realized how happy it would make him. And I thought it might be exciting. Eventually, I agreed to do it — as his birthday present.

“One evening, we went out for drinks and he invited a mate to join us. They’d already agreed this friend would come home with us. Once there, my boyfriend told me to go to the bedroom and get undressed, and to act like he wasn’t there. Then he sent the guy upstairs to join me. He followed a few minutes later and sat in a chair in the corner of the room.

“I was shy initially, but the other guy was very sexy. Once he started kissing me, I relaxed into it and soon found myself enjoying the experience.

“Afterwards, my partner sent him home and got into bed with me and he was so turned on that it was the best sex we’ve ever had.

“Dr. Kim, the problem is that now I’ve let the genie out of the bottle, I can’t put it back in. I did it once -– and now he’s begging me to do it again, but I don’t want it to become a regular part of our sex life.

What am I to do now?

— Slave To Voyeurism

Dear Slave:

Ten years is a long time for a non-marital relationship to last, and it’s an even longer time to be persuading you to fuck another man while he watches.

The unpleasant little truth about seemingly-innocent perversions like this one — and it is a perversion — is that at some point, things are going to start getting unpleasant:  for you.  Ollie The Onlooker is going get dissatisfied with watching just straight sex, and he’s going to start getting adventurous, which means that you’re going to get dragged along, more or less unwillingly.  I don’t know where it will lead to, but as a guess we’re looking at (in no specific order) bondage, possibly sado-masochism, multiple male participants (i.e. gang bangs), and similar fun stuff (for him).

And by the way:  your guy’s buddy is going to want a little action without Ollie in the audience.  Take my word for it.

As you yourself said, the genie is out of the bottle, so unless you take charge, your future looks bleak.

The man is a sick fuck (literally).  Dump him and get on with your life.

—

News Roundup

Bad News


...in a News Roundup world first, an actual piece of helpful news (ignore the silly Brit spelling).


...some of which have been used for good (video):


...and some not-so good:


...could hardly get worse… oh wait, this just in:


...but it does get a little better:


...awwww:

Time for some International News:


...probably the only way one can get through the day Down Under.


…


...I had no idea you could do the race in a Porsche — hell, even I could do that.


...hmmm, maybe humans are becoming smarter.


...there you go, bringing science into religion again.

In Food News:


...called the “Lizzo Meal”.


...so on yer next trip Over There, don’t be surprised to see Heinz cans hanging on trees.


...you had me at “Victoria sponge cake”.  Now I have to find one, and eat it.

Finally, our Celebrity News:


...you mean he learned how to do something every single Western woman does every morning of her life?  Stop the presses.

And from the not-so-top-secret files of INSIGNIFICA:

…



...other than having a neon sign on her forehead reading “I prefer pussy”, I can’t see how much more she can do to tell you that she’s a lesbo.

And in Paige Three News:

Malfunction, provocative action or delightful accident?  I report, you decide.

When Does It Become Obscene?

Fashion

Surfing on a bellyboard along the waves of Teh Intarwebz, I was struck by something, and not for the first time.

Readers of this corner will of course be familiar with golf hottie Paige Spirinac, who possesses quite possibly one of the best female bodies around, as evidenced in these pics:

Now here’s the thing.  While young Paige’s derrière is by no means underrepresented, it’s not by any means over-large, e.g.

So why have huge buttocks become a thing?

Maybe the trend started with screechy pop star Jennifer Lopez:

… and was amplified [sic]  by the awful Kim Kardashian (who has never been slow to ride a trend, so to speak):

It seems, however, that this trend has no upper limit — and I speak not of all-over fatties like Lizzo, but of “Playboy models” like this one:

It’s been decades since I looked at a Playboy, but if this is the trend of their models, it will be decades more before I do it again, if ever.  Horrible.

Another example is “plus-size” model Ashley Graham, who despite having an exquisitely-beautiful face, has a backside that would fill a school bus:

Among African tribes, a large pair of buttocks is a feature of attractiveness, because it speaks not only of fertility but also of the owner thereof being well nourished (a source of pride for their husbands as providers).

But that’s in Africa.  We live in the West, and have a European standard of beauty.  And I speak not of ultra-skinnies and the like (that being more a creation of homosexual fashion designers), but of women who have proportional statistics.

Here’s actress Sasha Alexander, for instance, who has what I would consider a decent set of proportions:

Note:  no inflated breasts, nor a bulbous backside.  Another example?  Sure, why not?  Here’s the rather Mumsy-looking Laura Hamilton, who in in her forties and has two kids:

Let me say in summary that I’m not asking for women to strive for some impossible ideal of beauty:  anything but.

What I’m asking for is proportion, and not grotesqueries.

And yes, I’m familiar with the contradiction of all the above, considering that  pneumatic sexagenarian Carol Vorderman often appears on my back porch:

…as does the equally-balloony Kelly Brook:

What can I say?  I’m a sucker for a pretty face.

Gratuitous Gun Pic: Marlin 983S (.22 WMR)

Gratuitous Gun Pics

Fresh from my diatribe against Marlin Rifles comes this customized and scoped example of their stainless-barreled Model 983, as seen at Collectors:

Aesthetically speaking, I don’t see the need for the heavy rubber recoil pad (on a rifle chambered in .22 Magnum?), but other than that, it’s very nice — and the recoil pad is removable.

I bet that’s a one-hole shooter, all day and every day of the week.  Yeah, it’s a lot of money for a Marlin, but that’s just another reason to hate them for stopping production:  they’ve driven up the prices through scarcity.

Of course, if you forego the customization, Marlin 983 rifles typically run for less than half the above, if you can find one.

All that said, I prefer my earlier Model 882 SV:

…which really is a one-hole shooter, as anyone who’s shot it will attest.