If ever we needed more proof that Big Air (not Congress, that’s a rant for another time) are a bunch of chiseling bastards, here’s the latest:
American Airlines announced Tuesday that it plans to add seatback screens to its aircraft and to increase the number of premium and extra-legroom seating in some aircraft.
I don’t care about the screens because I seldom if ever use them unless it’s to follow the flight’s progress on that little map thingy.
I really care about the seat issue because lest we forget, some twenty or so years ago airlines began reducing seat sizes and cramming the smaller seats into ever-smaller spaces within the planes. Yeah, the feeling went in Big Air Finance, that’s fine, especially as that enabled them to buy smaller-and-yet-smaller aircraft without losing passenger count.
Now, of course, to ride in their cramped aluminum tubes you have to have the approximate body shape of Victoria Hervey to fit in the seats, coupled with the approximate height of Peter Dinklage to have any kind of legroom.
(photos not drawn to scale; Dinklage actually comes up
to just above Hervey’s navel)
Now, as customer discontent has grown to a fever pitch — most especially, of course by those poor souls (i.e. everyone who can’t afford the bloated fares of first- and business class) thus cramped into a fetal position for a lengthy flight — American is now installing “premium” seats with “extra legroom”. (The “premium” refers to the prices they’ll be charging, and the “extra” is how much more you’ll have to pay.)
How much extra? Here’s an example:
Note that the departure times are different — i.e. different flights — because the earlier flight had sold out of Premium Economy seats.
If the above doesn’t give you the Warm & Fuzzies, then you obviously aren’t an American Airlines accountant.
For the rest of us, however:
At this point, I need to warn y’all that at some time next year I have to fly to the Old Racist Republic — details unimportant, because personal — and I’ll be raffling off several guns to be able to afford the Economy fare (don’t even think about Premium, of course).
(Delta because I refuse to fly on any Muslim airline, fukkem)
Wheeee… eighteen hours in steerage: I can hardly wait.
Please set your budgets accordingly.
I don’t know about the accountants and why they should be happy, but the stockholders are certainly pleased. Delta (DA) is currently trading at $ 82.40 just off their all time high, this despite the medias constant bleating about high fuel prices. The real culprit in the price of a ticket is the use of AI for better predictive models used in dynamic seat pricing. Airlines want to sell all the seats for every flight and now with AI they can adjust faster and closer to boarding time. ( an empty seat is worth zero when the gate closes ),
On the plus side, you can play Airline seat roulette by adjusting the date, time and even seat location) you schedule your flight and when you book it. The prices change dynamically daily, if not hourly as the flight fills. The difference between a Friday afternoon or a Monday morning flight and a midweek departure can be as much as 50% or more. Although with AI the advantage seems to be moving back towards the Airlines
https://financialpost.com/transportation/airlines/dynamic-ai-pricing-could-mean-fewer-cheap-airline-seats
[1] “The prices change dynamically daily”
Boy, I’ll say so. I booked an AA flight from DEN to Sapporo for $870 a week ago, then had to delay it a few days. It left at 6:45 PM. “Same time frame?” they asked, yes please, and the cost was quoted to me around $7,300.
So, I’m leaving at 7 in the morning. Cost, $770.
[2] Kim, a 1-hour stopover in ATL? Is that a direct flight? I flew Hawaii Airlines to Japan a few years ago, transferring to another plane in a 1-hour stopover in Honolulu* Airport, and HA did NOT manage to get my luggage transferred onto the other plane. I HOPE for your sake that it’s a direct flight.
* The airport is actually named after some Democrat Party apparatchik, if that matters to the reader.
From American Airlines:
Benefits of American Airlines Premium Economy
Seat Comfort
Wider Seats: Premium Economy seats are approximately 18.5 to 19 inches wide, compared to 16 to 18 inches in economy. So I gain an inch? BFD.
Increased Legroom: Passengers enjoy about 38 inches of pitch, which is significantly more than the 31 to 32 inches found in economy.
So I gain 7inches total. And who the hell over 12 years of age fits three abreast in a 16 inch wide seat to start with? I’m 24 inches wide at the shoulders.
Isn’t that a violation of the Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment, which most nations, including USA, signed decades ago.
Enhanced Amenities
Amenity Kits: Each seat comes with an amenity kit that includes essentials like hand lotion, lip balm, and earplugs.
WTF is essential about fucking lotions? I bring my own ear plugs.
Individual Air Vents: Passengers can control their personal air supply for a more comfortable environment. WOW! They’ll let me breathe!
Meal Service
Improved Dining Experience: Meal service includes complimentary beverages and a selection of meals served on real china, offering a more refined dining experience compared to economy.
Rubber chicken on glass? Then what do the hoi polloi get on a 10-18 hour flight? Two pretzel packs on a paper plate?
Summing up, $2802 – $992 = $1802. So that’s about $250/inch of space and the glorious bonus of rubber chicken on glass instead of plastic, and $5 worth of Chapstick, Keri lotion and earplugs.
I’m torn between calling that Robbery, Degrading Treatment, Punishment or Torture.
Pets in their transport boxes travel with more room to turn around or lie down.
Fuck American Airlines.
Air travel used to be something special.
Now its just an airborne subway ticket. Seats are awful especially if someone enormous sits next to you.
The Stews are fairies or crones. Other than turning a 12 hour drive into a 3 hour flight, there’s nothing magic about flying anymore.
Had an especially cramped and rough flight from Portland OR to Medford OR. We landed and the aisle was immediately full. Guy (asshole really) sitting in the window seat said to me in a rude voice, “Can you get up I don’t want to sit here any longer than I have to.” To which my response was literally, “Theres nowhere for me to go, fuck off, I didn’t invite you to sit next to me.” I thought we were going to have a fistfight right there in the plane. Nothing happened.
But fuck the airlines and the people that run them.
Delta was the preferred carrier where I worked and I traveled for work out of Atlanta. Now that I am retired I fly the Delta partner non-stop from Savannah to Boston to see my daughter. It is either an Airbus 200 or a 737 with comfort plus seating most of the time and regardless of the aircraft there are no screens on the back of seats.
I have a buddy that is management at Delta and he will shoot me a text when it is good times to purchase airfare between SAV and BOS. I still have quite a few miles if I need to upgrade on a plane that does offer first class.
I hated flying and still do. I’ll get to experience AA, not the party pooper group, later this year. I wonder if I can still get into a yoga class before I leave. Hey ears, youre going to meet the knees at some point.