From Insty, responding to this report:
“And if you do move to the States, whatever you do, do not move to Tennessee. Guns everywhere, drunken rednecks in pickup trucks, rattlesnakes, murder hornets — be smart and stay far away.”
Ditto Texas. We’re moar gunny, moar drunken, moar pickups, moar rattlesnakey, dunno about murder hornets but we got fire ants. Go to New York or California, which have none of the above. Tell them that both Insty and I sent you.
NY and California among other states have predators far worse than rattlesnakes. They have an overabundance of socialists.
TN and TX sound like fun places.
And if you decide to move out West, you definitely want to avoid Wyoming. We’ve got nothing but “hurricane force winds” every day, plus man-eating bears and mountain lions, rattlesnakes, and vast stretches of sagebrush desert basins*. Lots of two-lane roads with 70 MPH limits, no shoulders, and no guardrails on the curves with hundreds-of-foot drops into a gully where nobody will find your car for years…and everybody’s drunk ’cause there’s not anything else to do.
*The ranchers here in the basins don’t count “cows per acre”, it’s “how many dozens of acres are necessary to support one head of cattle.”
Ah yes, them thar 10-40 cows. Mouth 10 feet wide and run 40 mph to get enough to eat.
Florida has all that AND alligators. Oh, hurricanes and pythons too.
Yes.
And swamps and mosquitos.
Sharks.
Many venomous snakes.
It’s unsafe…save yourselves and stay away.
Don’t forget the tornadoes!
And stay the hell out of Pennsyltucky. The sasquatches will eat ya.
Mustn’t leave out the wild boar. But do go and pet the large wild deer. You know, the ones with the hump on their back and those cute little branchless horns. They like that. The longhorns are cute and cuddly, too.
Oh and Plano is the heart of gunz-r-bad culture. Ain’t I a little stinker? 😉