In the first few months after I moved to the U.S., I remember asking a girl out on a date. When she agreed, I asked where I could pick her up.
“I’ll meet you there,” was her response.
Needless to say, I was a little mystified. “No, I don’t mind picking you up,” I insisted.
“Well, I’d feel more comfortable just driving to wherever we’ll be meeting up.” Then she added, “That way, if we’re not having a good time, we’re each just free to go.”
Wow. That was interesting, and very enlightening. Basically, what she was doing was hedging her bets — and from her body language, the unspoken message was that she was likewise uncomfortable in having me learn where she lived.
Culture shock, on my part.
Faced with that rudeness, I’m afraid I was rude in return. “Tell you what: let’s just go in three cars, to make it even more inconvenient.”
Needless to say, nothing ever came of the whole thing. I later learned that at the time I asked her out, she was a couple months pregnant. Bullet, dodged.
So you can imagine my surprise when I read this little story:
“One of my rules is, if a man doesn’t at least offer to send you a car for the date, whether you take it or not, no date!” said Savannah Pagnozzi, a Big Apple lifestyle influencer. “No. Absolutely not. We don’t do that.”
Look, I get it, when it comes to NYfC. It’s not the easiest place to get around — I mean, forget about driving anywhere, whether it’s to pick up your date or even to get to the rendezvous. And I could certainly see getting a car (Uber, cab, whatever) to take you to her place to pick her up. That’s the gentlemanly thing to do. But what this NYfC bint wants is to have a chauffeured drive to the place and — no doubt — another carriage to take Princess home as well.
The sheer effrontery of this, from a woman who is at best marginally attractive (in Manhattan; in L.A. or Dallas, she wouldn’t get a second look) just takes my breath away. No doubt, she’ll probably want to see a personal financial statement from him during that first date as well.
Ladies, just remember: if you’re not bringing much to the party, so to speak, you’re not really in any position to make demands of a first date. To be blunt, you have no room to feel entitled just because you have a vagina — and especially so if it’s a well-trodden path, so to speak.
As for the guys: take a hard pass when you’re confronted by this kind of attitude.