From the Greatest Living Englishman:
The Clarkson’s Farm star admitted that he couldn’t understand how machines can ‘spot what’s happening in every part of your body, apart from your bottom’.
‘They can photograph your ventricles and every bit of your brain, but if they want to know what’s going on with your prostate, which lives in the anus, for some reason, the doctor has to put his finger in there. I can only assume it’s because he likes it.’
As funny as it is, he makes a really good point. Why can’t scans detect bowel/colon/prostate problems?
I await comments from the Leech-People among my Readers.
The British Healthcare system strikes again. My doctor has not used that Dianostic technique for the last several annual checkups. The preferred and more accurate procedure is a blood test that looks for certain anti bodies. Thats also why any knowledgeable person knows that Joe’s Doctors were lying about just recently uncovering his stage 4 Prostrate Cancer.
It’s called a PSA Test and Joe’s Doctors claim comments about not running one because he was too old is also BS. I’m 78 and when I checked with my Doctor, She Told my that they do it routinely for every male after 40 or so. No reason not to add it to the labwork request.
Imaging can very easily detect an enlarged prostate, but a quick finger up the bum is faster, doesn’t expose the patient to radiation, and costs nothing.
For the colon, a scope is preferred because while imaging can show thickening, it does not permit viewing of the mucosa itself, nor does it permit biopsy.
Speaking as someone whose father had prostate cancer and died of colon cancer, I would ask that all your readers get checked and scoped. It’s an ugly way to die, and treatable if detected early. My father didn’t get checked regularly, and he died in his early 60s as a result.
The problem with the old digital exam is that is a “too late” test. It finds a a Prostate that is already enlarged whereas the PSA test will detect a problem much earlier so it can be treated earlier. Also the last time my Doctor suggested a Colonoscopy, I asked if there were any indicators since I have no Family History of Cancer. She ordered one of those Home Mail in tests instead. A lot less invasive, but no referral fee.
YMMV
Five years “post cancer” here. I get a CT every year and the doc can read the date on the penny I swallowed in 1975.
The only reason I allow myself to get fingered every year is that it gives me an opportunity to wank in front of the doctor’s nurse.
Kim, Kim, Kim…..whatever are we going to do with you?
And why do they use so much goo when they jam that finger in there?
I used half a roll of paper towels to clean up and still, on the long drive home, I was “slip, sliding away”.
It’s lube, and you really want them using that much. Otherwise it’s more painful.
If it’s painful for you, then either 1) the doc is a sadist, or 2) he has both hands on your shoulders.
LMAO
I believe it was Dave Barry who compared the male anatomy to Florida, which made the prostate Tallahassee. And the only way to get there is via a dirt road from Alabama.
it’s important to establish dominance with the doctor and check his prostate as well. Doesn’t matter if your healthcare provider is a woman. Poke for a poke. they want equal treatment, don’t they?
My understanding is that the the doctor isn’t just checking for enlargement, but also for how firm/soft the prostate is.
Keep in mind that I haven’t had this done on me yet, and it’s not something I’m looking forward to.
It’s no big deal, actually. I never understood the fuss guys make about it.
From Reader Sadekar via email:
My wife works at the VA and has been doing ultrasound for over 25 years. After having my prostate checked by an overzealous doctor, I asked her the same question. She stated that the ass fisting is not necessary. That your prostate can be checked with ultrasound. So I asked her why do doctors not just order an ultrasound instead. The answer was multifaceted. Fro starters, insurance companies for the most part, will not pay for the test to be done and if ultrasound is ordered for a prostate exam, they require the doctor to write up a report justifying why ultrasound is necessary as opposed to the cheaper way of doing it via the “finger” method. This takes time the doctor does not have, and usually ends up with the insurance company denying the claim anyway. Thus, it is easier for the doctor to simply go to town digitally on your bum. Also, if the doctor does take the time to write up the prescription for the ultrasound, it does get approved by insurance and allowed, it then takes time to schedule an ultrasound, which is typically done at another facility as doctors do not have ultrasound machines and ultrasound techs in house. The patient has to make an appointment at an imaging center in order to have the ultrasound done. After the exam is done, the tech has to write up the report and send it to the doctor. This could take days at best. So, in order to save money and time, we men are subjected to having out buttholes reamed out by another man, all in the name of healthcare.
And that is why. Because someone doesn’t want to waste time and money, we men have to give up or rear-end virginity.
The cachet of rear-end virginity is massively overvalued.
Both male and female.
Speaking from experience, are we?
Yup.
My first prostate exam was from a female Navy doctor, who had previously been a veterinarian. She was fresh out of medical school on GMO (General Medical Officer) assignment, waiting her turn for a residency.
She was, how shall I say, aggressive in her search.
I had to remind her she was checking my prostate, not turning a calf.
LMAO
My first was at age 35 by a Navy Flight Surgeon that was a Major Babe.
Can’t add anything to the above, only relate my own experience. In late 2021, my PSA was 8.0. Off to the the urologist. He did the finger exam, said my prostate felt normal, but need to do biopsy to be sure. Biopsy found cancer. The real nail biting wait for test results was the PET scan (Proton Emission Tomography) to see if the cancer had spread. Result was negative.
First consult was with a surgeon. One and done, but likely will leak for the rest of my life.
Second consult with with the Oncologist. He and his staff were stellar. He took nearly an hour explaining everything in detail to my wife and I. His most telling remark was, “On the off chance that the surgeon misses something, you will wind up right back here”. Alrighty, then. 44 radiation treatments later, and two years of Lupron injections (Lupron blocks testosterone)…..
Well, I’m still here. Delighted to report that my PSA and testosterone levels are right where they should be. Am still having the occasional, although much diminished, hot flash side effect from the Lupron.
Personal experience time. I have an elevated PSA which was caught by blood tests. I was then sent for a MRI scan which showed an enlarged prostate – about the size of an orange. At a later check-up the doctor did the finger thing to feel the surface of the prostate – all fine. I’ve been prescribed assorted medicines.
No cost to me, of course, beyond normal taxation thanks to the NHS.
Just to elaborate, you definitely want the doctor to do the test because the scanners aren’t always available and in case the results have got mixed up.
My doctor told me not to worry. He said it’s normal to get an erection during a prostate exam.
“But Doc, I don’t have an erection.”
“Well, I do.”
After a digital exam the doctor told me I needed to get a second opinion and that he’d refer me to a colleague of his. Concerned, I asked him why I needed a second opinion. His response was, “my fingers aren’t long enough”.
after a certain age, all men will be able to relate to Jeff Dunham’s puppets
They do scans for that part of the anatomy. The scans cost a lot of money and take up much more of your day. For different prostate and bladder problems I have had both CT and MRI scans in the last couple of years. The scans can find things the digital exam can’t, but are only used if the urologist is worried about possible cancer.
PSA test is a much more effective monitoring test.
Ultrasound or MRI can identify enlargement of the prostrate.
The finger test is quick and cheap, but not particularly effective.
As an aside, several years ago I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer.
I knew I had a problem, but the colonoscopy confirmed it.
Me, the doctor, a registra, two trainee doctors, a technician and three nurses watch the procedure on two huge tv screens.
And I quote “that’s really low, you could just about reach in and touch that”.
From that point, every doctor I saw took it as a personal challenge. Fuck me, I’d walk into the hospital and doctors would be chasing me down the corridor pulling on blue gloves.
Currently waiting to see if the radiation killed my prostate cancer.
There are scans (MRI, CT and ultrasound) but there are expensive and take a lot more time and . . . . preparation. When my PSA went up rather quickly, they did an MRI, which confirmed a likely issue and helped focus the biopsy, which led to official diagnosis.
The anal exam isn’t that useful, but it provides a little bit of information.