Many moons ago there was a one digit difference between my phone number & Ticketmaster’s, and I often intercepted their calls. One day I answered to a woman who had lost her mind:
I WANNA SEE DOLLY PARTON AND KENNY ROGERS IN THE TACOMA DOME AND DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY CAUSE I’VE BEEN CALLING AND YOU COCKSUCKERS DON’T ANSWER AND I WANNA GO TO THE CONCERT AND YOU BETTER MAKE IT HAPPEN MOTHERFUCKERS IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON’T FUCKING ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONES!!!…
When she finally came up for air we had the following exchange:
Me: Ma’am I’m so terribly sorry, you obviously haven’t heard.
Cunt: Heard what motherfucker?
Me: I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you ma’am, but Ms. Parton died earlier today and the show’s been cancelled, obviously.
Looonng pause.
Me: Are you there, ma’am?
Cunt: What? You’re fucking joking, right?
Me: I’m afraid not, ma’am. Ms. Parton’s limo was tboned by a milk truck this morning and she didn’t survive.
Lonngg pause.
Me: Ma’am?
Cunt: Th th th that’s so AWFUL!
Me: Yes it is, ma’am. Kenny Rogers is so heartbroken he says he’ll never perform again.
Cunt: OH MY GOD!
She hung up to tend to her sorrows. It was a good day.
Bad Polack! BAD Polack!!!
I need to get a tshirt emblazoned with Bad Polack.
Yep. The years have been kind to her.
Many moons ago there was a one digit difference between my phone number & Ticketmaster’s, and I often intercepted their calls. One day I answered to a woman who had lost her mind:
I WANNA SEE DOLLY PARTON AND KENNY ROGERS IN THE TACOMA DOME AND DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY CAUSE I’VE BEEN CALLING AND YOU COCKSUCKERS DON’T ANSWER AND I WANNA GO TO THE CONCERT AND YOU BETTER MAKE IT HAPPEN MOTHERFUCKERS IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON’T FUCKING ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONES!!!…
When she finally came up for air we had the following exchange:
Me: Ma’am I’m so terribly sorry, you obviously haven’t heard.
Cunt: Heard what motherfucker?
Me: I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you ma’am, but Ms. Parton died earlier today and the show’s been cancelled, obviously.
Looonng pause.
Me: Are you there, ma’am?
Cunt: What? You’re fucking joking, right?
Me: I’m afraid not, ma’am. Ms. Parton’s limo was tboned by a milk truck this morning and she didn’t survive.
Lonngg pause.
Me: Ma’am?
Cunt: Th th th that’s so AWFUL!
Me: Yes it is, ma’am. Kenny Rogers is so heartbroken he says he’ll never perform again.
Cunt: OH MY GOD!
She hung up to tend to her sorrows. It was a good day.
Bad Polack! BAD Polack!!!
I need to get a tshirt emblazoned with Bad Polack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw2W8ZC7pkM
And, Yvette Mimieux died today at the age of 80.
R.I.P.
An old joke went “How do you recognize Dolly Parton’s children in a daycare? They’re the ones with stretch marks around their mouths”.
Saint Dolly of Sevierville. She’s done a ton of work helping the folks in my home mountains of East Tennessee.
Makes you wonder what the fuck was Jolene bringing to the table?
THAT is an excellent question.
That, or Dolly’s “man” in the song was a total retard.
Just looking at her photograph makes you want to smile.
Happy birthday, lovely lady.
Vince Gill talks about his Dad meeting Dolly Parton:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avZ0-TAK6sw
It’s a long story, because of a few tangents, but worth it.