1. Hello nine one one? This is Lorena Bobbitt. I just performed a sex change surgery on my husband. He’s still sleeping… what do I do when he wakes up?

  2. I don’t have a caption suggestion. I just want to point out the absence of a telephone cable. That phone isn’t connected to anything.

  3. Nancy Pelosi lipstick brand “Schmear” gains market share among Real Housewives, anorexic porn “actresses,” and drunken whores. When asked about “The only brand that will stick to your teeth, lips, and face (TM),” Pelosi replied, “Good morning. Sunday morning.”

  4. Perfectly timing her retirement from a successful ‘Help Desk’ career assisting perplexed users of such diverse products as the Ginsu knife and fine fine French automobiles, chaos-obsessed Garlisha was almost out of outrageous suggestions to get those gizmos and gadgets operating in the functional opposite of the package promises!
    * What should we do with the resultant peace-n-quiet?
    Break into small groups, discuss silently.

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