1. Him: “I’ll use a rubber if you prefer.”

    Her: “Rubber or not, I DON”T do anal, ever. Period.”

  2. Him: “At the bar, you said if I came home with you we could do a mother / daughter threesome?”

    Her: “Okay, give me a minute to go wake up mom.”

  3. He: But before you SAW the warts, you thought I was “ribbed for your pleasure”.
    She: Um. Just no.

  4. He: You know your sister was okay with that.
    Her: Well I guess I could consider it…with your brother.

  5. He Said:
    You know, you still owe me $900 for the bit of landscaping at the front of your house.

    She Said:
    What the hell, I gave you the best three-way you ever had in your life and you indicated we might work things out, by the way you might want to asked your doctor for an antibiotic prescription, might be a good idea, I don’t know.

  6. Him: But I told you I suffer from erectile flatulence.

    Her: I didn’t think it meant you erection farted! I may never have oral sex again…

  7. “I think you’re being a little harsh, Arabella.”

    “I’m sorry, Derek — but I refuse to sleep with a man whose tits are bigger than mine.”

  8. Jill, tell me why they keep calling me Brandon ?

    Don’t worry Joe, just take your meds and go back to sleep.

  9. Him: “Jill, your husband is Vice President. I’d kill myself before I said anything.”

    Her: “I know you will, Jeffery. I know you will.”

  10. He — [playfully] “Hundreds injured at aspiring-rapper travis scott Astroworld show as rioters rush the stage…”
    Her — [trembling] “That gets me so hot! [shivers and quivers] How many dead rioters?”

  11. He — [seductively] “Their faked case against Kyle and the child-raping rioters is collapsing from the inside out…”
    Her — [thinking] “If he mentions ‘dismissal on all charges’, I am going to orgasm sitting up!”

  12. He — [playfully] “Baltimore, Detroit, Atlanta. Three more monuments to saint george floyd were destroyed…
    Her — [thinking] “If he says ‘by lightning’, I am going to orgasm sitting up!”

  13. He — [playfully whispering] “fauci… fauci…”
    Her — [thinking] “If he says ‘two weeks to flatten the curve’, I am going to orgasm sitting up!”

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