Caption Competition #200 October 22, 2021 Kim du Toit Captions, Friday Feature Your reactions in Comments.
First off, the extremely offensive smell would cause me to back right the fuck up and observe. Any negro any where immediately puts my situational awareness sensor on high alert. At this point I would just leave the area.
Dude, blue is not your color.
What is my reaction?
Turn round, walk out of the elevator and take the stairs.
A more satisfying, and disease-free, workout.
Good morning Kamala.
Depends on the situation. If I’m at Comicon, I’d just nod and go about my business. Cosplayers are kind of weird, but mostly harmless. Pretty much anywhere else, I’d pretend like I forgot something, turn around, and think about whether I really need to be in that building right now. I’m pretty sure whatever meeting I was going to attend could be done via Zoom or Teams or something.
What the hell did my wife put in my oatmeal this morning? The bottle said “Maple Syrup”; did it come from a peyote tree today?!
“Oh! Excuse me, madam. Are you taking a grey poupon?”
“Of all the days to leave the cross and garlic at home…”
Hmmm…. how’s that working for you?
Hmmm. What do I push to get to three?
I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.
I’m thinking linoleum, not carpet.
The obvious “Going down?”
It’s about time we called the Orkin man!
What the Professor said………..
When the robot hooker doll’s batteries are low she assumes a rest position, nothing to see here, keep moving along.
“Aw hell na…” and back away slowly, no eye contact and no sudden movements to provoke the animal.
Guess I’ll be taking the stairs.
Hip cramps….the bane of elevator hookers everywhere.
Meh, I rode the NYC subway daily for over 30 years. She’d (assuming it’s really a she) would hardly merit a second glance. I recall one young lady who had to many tattoos, piercings, odd clothing, etc that the LEAST unusual thing about her was her Pepto-Bismol pink hair.
Back probably in the 80s I saw an (apparently) attractive young lady in the Staten Island Mall wearing bikini bottoms, cropped t-shirt and with a mass a blonde hair. Turned around and found it was a guy. Yes, definitely a guy, he made no effort to hide Captain Winky.
But to answer your question, I’d probably be 95% WTF and 5% aroused.
Nope the fuck out. Assuming the waves of crabs and gonaherpasyphillaids would not block my exit.
I do have standards. Not many, but I DO have them.
This is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay on the other side of that line that I do NOT cross !
Needs more inflation, I mean really, those dolls are not usable at 20 PSI
(Clueless — because I am involved with the real world — about CurrentEvents©, I investigated this portrait.
Apparently, this is ‘aspiring-rapper’ ‘Cardi B’ acting through one of her multiple personalities during a medicinal gap.
Also apparently, the young lady is lawfully married to a young ‘aspiring-rapper’ gentleman named ‘Offset’.)
‘Aspiring-rapper’ ‘Offset’, referring to spouse ‘Cardi B’ (seen here), offers this multi-faceted defense of her mysterious success [warning — may require a colored-string chart to fully appreciate]:
* “She ain’t never hadn’t to pay nobody to stop play her songs anyway.”
Rapidly unass, hoping to outrun the flood of Madonna-grade Herpes viruses.
“Do you work here? [doesn’t wait for answer] Which aisle are those green olives in the bottle…”
“Your room has rubber walls and a toilet-hole in the floor for a reason…”
“‘Yes’, I know who you are, and ‘no’, the court ordered you to stay the full ninety-day ob.”
(Staring at her shoes):
“Do they charge extra for that size?”
Further investigation reveals…
Kiari Krendrell Cephus, known ‘professionally’ as ‘Offset’, is an ‘aspiring-rapper’. He is a member of the ‘aspiring-rapper’ ‘vocal-band’ Migros, alongside his cousin ‘Quavo’ and his other cousin ‘Takeoff’.
Without Splendid Isolation, I would be informationally starved of so many cultural broadenings!
Completely unnecessary, but…
See them in their mega-hit ‘Straightenin’:
(Caution — over 26,000 ‘down’ votes)
Fluid lyrics include this wisdom approximately 700 times:
“Ain’t nothing gets straightenin but straightenin”
OMG Marge, “Straightenin” got me looking around for a satchel of grenades to roll into that bunch of fucking self-important no-talents to do the world a favor.
” I’ll be taking the stairs. Be a doll and put the seat back up when you’re done.”
Tempting, but concern for my wallet and kidneys suggests a quick exit.
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