Monday Funnies

Time to go on vacation, on a beach somewhere in Europe or the Black Sea.

So… on with the funnies.  Of course, some may be a little offensive to a few people.

And speaking of which:

I report, you decide.

Vicky

Her late father was easily one of the funniest writers in the English language;  her brother is a renowned (and very good) restaurant and food critic, and like both father and brother she is a graduate of Oxford University.  Unlike the other two male relatives, she is also a champion poker player and constant guest on cooking- and quiz shows on Brit TV, where she tends to overawe most of the other competitors (and quiz masters) with her frightening intellect and acidic tongue.  She’s also married (alas) to one of the most effete, yet funniest and angriest comedians on television, and I would pay a small fortune to have them both as dinner guests.

Her name is Victoria Coren (Mitchell), her father was Alan Coren, her brother is Giles Coren, and her husband is David Mitchell — and each one of those men is worthy of a post all to himself.  But they pale beside Victoria.

And I’ve had a massive crush on her for well over a decade.

Here’s one of the compilations from when she appeared as a contestant on the ghastly Countdown  series.   And then there’s QI, where she gets into arguments with the equally-intellectual Stephen Fry and Sandi Toksvig.

And here’s when she and her husband appeared together on Would I Lie To You?  (which is a hysterically funny show).

Class, intelligence, sense of humor, good looks. and a penchant for erotic spanking… ask me to explain again why I love her.

 

Another (Road) Sign Of The Times

Ready Dusty sends me a link to an excellent website, on which appears this lovely little piece:

An unprecedented thing is happening – and it isn’t the attempt to inject every healthy American with “medicine” (sic) their health doesn’t require.
It is that used cars are . . . appreciating.
Normally, they depreciate – a fancier way of saying they lose value. Traditionally, almost immediately – and ongoing. As you drive, the less it’s worth.
All of a sudden, used vehicles are increasing in value – or rather, cost. To a degree never seen before. The Manheim used car index – which works kind of like the consumer price index applied specifically to used vehicles – notes an almost  50 percent jump in the indexed value of the average used vehicle over the past year.

…and he goes on to analyze the situation, although Loyal Readers will know the depth of my agreement with this statement:

Part of the reason for the not-liking, arguably is because of the over-the-top electronic nannying that comes standard with practically all new cars. It has reached a degree of insufferability that is almost intolerable. Like having a horse fly constantly buzzing – just the right word – around your head.
Lane Keep Assist. Brake Assist. Park Assist. Blind Spot Assist. Pedestrian Detection Assist. Speed Limit Assist.  Soon – probably – Diaper Assist.
Older cars lack “advanced driver assistance” technologies. They don’t attempt to countermand your steering or apply the brakes on your behalf or automatically shut off the engine every time the car stops moving. They don’t put the transmission into park because you tried to back up with the door open – in order to use your eyes rather than a camera and beeping electronics to see where you want to go.

As it happens, I’ve picked out the (secondhand and affordable) car that I want.  It’s not an SUV, but a small-ish passenger car, with tada!!!  a stick shift, very low mileage, and an extreme paucity of electronic doodads (rearview camera and traction/cruise control only).  Also, it’s a known quantity:  I’ve owned a couple of its like in years gone by, and it has acceptable performance (>150hp).  There’s only one downside, but I can live with it.

Watch this space.