Just when you thought that the Stout Bulldog Spirit had left Britishland forever, comes this little tale (from back in 2018, as it happens):
Married at First Sight star David Pugh single-handedly fought off a gang of five machete-wielding robbers using his martial arts skills after they broke into his home.
The thugs burst into the 56-year-old’s home, demanding cash and attacking Pugh’s teenage son and a 20-week-old puppy.
The reality star was left covered in blood after courageously fighting off the masked men – who were armed with baseball bats and golf clubs as well as machetes – with his bare hands.
And the picture is not a good one:
While his great big brass balls are not pictured, I think we can all give him a round of applause.
But I know that all of you are thinking that had Mr. Pugh been allowed the use of, say, a Colt 1911 or similar, it would have been a far better outcome for all concerned (except for the choirboys, of course) in that the blood splatter would have belonged to the goblins rather than to Our Hero.
And we could have inducted him into the Dept. of Righteous Shootings — International Division, rather than just applauding his outstanding bravery.
But this is Britishland, where he would have been more likely to face arrest for causing a public nuisance or bleeding without the proper permit.
[10,000 words of angry invective deleted]