Just… No

Aaaargh  is nothing sacred anymore?

The makers of Glenlivet whisky have been ridiculed on Twitter after revealing a new method of consuming their product.
Posting a video to Twitter, the company plans to share clear cocktail capsules made from seaweed to house the drink.
The user simply places the capsule in their mouth and pops it to enjoy the ‘perfect flavour-explosion’ experience that will set ‘a new standard on how whisky is enjoyed.’

Here’s a game I’d suggest:

Whoever dreamed up this fucking terrible idea should swallow eight of these capsules whole, one after the other.  Wait five minutes.  Get on a fast motorcycle in Edinburgh and head south towards London on Britain’s M1, at 100mph.

The game is for Scotch drinkers to bet where the “flavour explosion” will occur and the stupid asshole wipes out and dies.


  1. Well I guess I don’t need to invest in some of those fancy (and expensive) Glencairn glasses to enjoy my scotch…. Who needs to actually SMELL your whisky to enhance the enjoyment of it, when you can have yourself a flavor ejaculation, er, explosion????

    The asswipe who came up with this idea should be sentenced to drink James Brooks for the rest of his natural life.

    BTW, I came up with James Brooks after a search for “bad scotch”, it was described thusly:

    Nose: Hints of roadkill, blackberry death, wood, smoked rat, rubbing alcohol, weaker Drumguis if that’s possible.
    Taste: More death, rubbing alcohol, fruit, smoked ass, bitter sewer water.
    Finish: What finish? Is it safe to come out now?

    The worst tasting (to me) scotch I ever tried was Ardberg, which to me tasted like someone soaked old cigar butts in turpentine. I guess I just don’t care for Islay scotch, I’ll stick to my Glenmorangie.

  2. JUST SAY NO ! ! ! ! Good scotch with, maybe one ice cube, slowly sipped enjoying the scent and taste and the whole experience is the right way, not some sort of hurried chomp and squish, like eating grub worms.

  3. And give up the sheer joy that comes from uncorking a new bottle of “holy water,” or sitting in front of a warm fire, enjoying a fine, imported cigar, with that first taste of a fine evening waiting in your glass?

    I think booze pods should have “BITE ME!” in bold letters on every label.

  4. The way they present it is pretty dumb, but a lightweight, small-volume way to transport whiskey could come in handy.

    A few of these tucked into a backpack for a camping trip or a hike, for example. Or a way to get your tipple of choice into a sports stadium.

  5. Okay everybody, take a deep breath and untwist your panties.

    They didn’t say they were going to stop selling the whisky in the usual way – in glass bottles. It’s just a new thing for marketing to try. If it sells, great. If not, then it will go away on its own.

    If somebody handed me one, I would give it a shot. If I don’t like it, then I just won’t buy it that way.

    (I could be wrong, but I think it’s the whole “seaweed” thing that’s got everyone’s bowels in an uproar.)

    1. Maybe Vodka, maybe Gin, maybe Seagrams 7 but not Scotch, I have been to Scotland, the peat, the history, the smokey taste, who wants to put Scotch down your gullet like cough syrup just to get a buzz? Holy Shit this stuff is sacred and needs to be appreciated with some dignity and honor.

  6. Stolen from Twitter:

    He eats a whiskey pod.
    He eats a vodka pod.
    He eats a lager pod.
    He eats a cider pod.

    He eats the pods that remind him of the good Tide.
    He eats the pods that remind him of the better Tide.

  7. Good Grief! What marketing doofus at Glenlivet decided that imitating college blackout binge drinking techniques was something the brand would benefit from? Admittedly, I am not a whisky drinker, nor whiskey, but I appreciate the aroma. This seems as wrong as putting a premium spirit into a cocktail.

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