1. Okay, okay, okay.

        Agent Orange: “So what if he weighs 300 lbs and has a mug like a Brooklyn heavy weight prize fighter? He has a 10 cock and a wallet as big as a washing machine! So go choke on it Jealous Jennie!”

  1. THERE in the world is Carmen Santiago!

    Carmen Santiago looks around wondering why everyone wants to know where she is….

  2. Versatile American movie star James Earl Jones, seen here in one version of his ‘white-face’ disguise, offers a token acceptance of the courageous photags trailing his every move.

  3. Completely baffling the courageous photags documenting his every move, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones, shown here in one version of his ‘white-face’ disguise, leaves home without his trusty heels to offer him a little ‘lift’.

  4. After a productive morning at the shootin’ range, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones, shown here in his ‘urban hunting safety attire’, accepts a helpful stabilizing hand from his trusty side-kick and body-double James Earl Smith.

  5. Although this ‘snappy’ example from his stunning fedora collection certainly accentuates his trademark ‘1,000-meter stare’ popularized during his mid-career years, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones might benefit from the sizing advice from our esteemed panel here on Du Toit Global Headquarters.

    What say, everybody? Should he go with a more ‘appropriate’ size? Break into small groups, and discuss.

  6. A firm advocate of wardrobe stability, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones, shown here with his belt ‘parachute rigged’ with a ‘surgeon knot’, conceals his suspenders within his trendy trench-coat.

    Belt plus suspenders. I think we can all agree on practicality as a fundamentally-admirable trait in a ‘California’ or ‘Hollywood’ type of person! And so very rare these days…

  7. Shunned by the ‘Hollywood crowd’ after the latest in a long line of scandals involving his Lighten-To-Assimilate chain of skin-bleaching clinics, former movie star James Earl Jones is shown leaving a United Nations Inquiry Committee after another grueling session of questions involving the alleged use of banned ‘Lemon Pledge’ compounds to assist many tropical immigrants in their quest for a ‘better life’ among their European neighbors.

    Jones declined comment, adding “…and I was so sure…”. Support groups to offer support to the beleaguered hero are forming in communities near you. How much can you help him in his hour of need?

  8. Grumbling under his breath at the unintended over-sight, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones, seen here concealing one set of fingernails deep into his pocket, realizes his adoring fans deserve a better ‘wardrobe appropriate’ color selection from his vast array of fingernail paints.

    How many agree? Break into small groups, discuss.

  9. Look closer. Is this in-demand versatile American movie star James Earl Jones… or one-trick-pony Brit worshed-up has-been Jeremy Irons?

    If you were his hairdresser, what could you do to help Irons’ lagging career? Break into large groups, discuss while cross-juggling ripe eggs.

  10. A long-time advocate for ‘wardrobe collision’, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones, seen here in his fresh new ‘high-collared’ trench from his stunning 2019 collection, displays a remarkable comparison to his flat-collared strolling companion.

    Could the attire mogul possibly top this for next year’s collection? Break into duets of your favored gender, discuss using excessive adjectives. And massive amounts of gesticulation.

  11. Seen here exiting his HairpieceWarehouse headquarters on a brisk June morning, wig mogul James Earl Jones sports a Seattle-grunge ‘do’ from his 1980s collection.

    According to sources, George Zimmer of MensWarehouse fame was unavailable for comment. Nor was Ralph Lauren of PoloWarehouse. Neither was Calvin Klein of FashionWarehouse.

    Frantically flailing in the distant background, Justin Beiber of Be-ManWarehouse offered comments just as, sadly, everybody’s microphone batteries died. Simultaneously.

  12. Give her a break, it’s the first day of deer season, and you know how bad buck fever can get.

  13. Look, I might appear a complete idiot in this titfer, but at least I’ve not got caterpillars for eyebrows. Oh, wait….

  14. Closely examining life-size photographs of the rising political star, casual observers question the fervent denials from spokes-models representing recent recluse James Earl Jones. Is a distant common heritage possible with fetching ingenue Alexanderia O’Casio-Cortez? Is it something about her eyes?

    Break into teams, and distribute darts.

  15. While dressed in the manner of a wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing, the doe was experiencing the deer-in-the-headlights moment when she realized her mac was “Hunter Orange”, and all the implications therein

  16. Seen here leaving a popular Internet caption competition, versatile American movie star James Earl Jones sports practicality-in-motion == an ‘anti-caption’ ensemble of coat-and-sombrero… along with deflective wig to protect what remains of his sensitive hearing.

    How fortunate his wardrobe staff planned his attire choices hours in advance! Crisis averted!

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