Not Interested

If I were to list things in which I am totally disinterested, it would be a long list indeed.  Items that seem to entrance other people just leave me cold.  Such items would include Anything Kardashian, the new H&K or Glock pistol, the latest fashion trends, the new Marvel movie (because I’m not eight years old anymore), any Hollywood divorce, who won the latest Britain’s / America’s Got Talent, the latest Ed Sheeran / Taylor Swift song, new developments in iPhones, why women masturbate, who’s banging who in show business, how much money some rich fart makes per month, etc.

Wait, go back… what was that bit about why women masturbate?

Apparently, this is of some interest to people:

The research, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, reveals the majority of women do indeed masturbate.
A total of 94.5 per cent of women have masturbated at least once in their life, with most doing so for the first time at 14.
More than a quarter (26.8 per cent) masturbate two to three times a week, with a similar amount (26.3 per cent) doing so once a week.
Almost all of the women (91.5 per cent) reported masturbating while being in a relationship.
For the 5.5 per cent of women who have never masturbated, the two main reasons were: ‘I hardly every feel sexual desire’ and ‘sex is a partner-only thing’.
The reasons for masturbating ranged from sexual desire to relaxation (44 per cent) and stress reduction (22.6 per cent).

…and so on and on, until the eyes start to droop.  (I should point out that the above study was conducted among German women, so any conclusions should be taken with a giant pinch of Salz.)

Among the many mysteries of life (for me, and I suspect most men) is that of women’s sexuality — and to be quite frank, I’d like to leave it that way because, as far as I can see, the difference between male- and female sexuality is somewhat more complicated than this pictorial example:

…because although I think it’s missing a couple dozen female controls, it’s still a valiant attempt at explanation.

And that’s sexuality in general;  start parsing that into sub-functions like masturbation (as the above study attempts to do), and all the individual combinations and permutations that push a woman to self-pleasure would cause a Cray to give up after a millennium or two.

It’s NOMB.  Let the female of the species get on with it, and mine not to reason why.

I didn’t see that  reason in the study, but whatever, sweetheart.


  1. Whereas with men the reason we “touch ourselves” is the same reason George Mallory gave when asked why he climbed a mountain:

    “Because it’s there.” 😀

  2. The pictorial example is incorrect.

    Men don’t have or need a switch. Or a light. If the plug is in the socket… yeah.

    Women are entirely more complicated still. You’d need several floors of supercomputers churning out frappin’ chaos theory, and you still couldn’t find the right setting. Then, if by pure luck the correct setting is found, one must visualize attempting to defuse a very large bomb. In the dark. Using a grapefruit. If it all goes well: Buy a lottery ticket.

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