1. Phillip consoled himself that he wasn’t the first doctor to sleep with a patient. Then he remembered that he specialized in treating Herpes.

  2. “She did say that I could do ANYTHING to her… so I guess I’ll stub the cigarette out on her back.”

  3. Something shoulda told me a good looking bitch comin’ on to a drunk like me was a fuckin’ shemale.

  4. He: Maybe she could have my children and…..

    She: Just leave the fucking money on the dresser…..

  5. Bond glanced over at Jill Masterson before heading downstairs to play cards with Auric Goldfinger, not knowing it was the last time he’d see her alive.

  6. 1. Well, at least one of them smokes after sex…

    2. “You want me to take my pants off?? The window is open.”

    3. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs. Onassis?”

    4. “Yeah, I’m gonna have a cigarette, now. They haven’t invented ‘Call of Duty’ yet.”

    5. “I’m a rodeo cowboy. You wanted more than eight seconds?”

    6. “Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought it could happen to me, but…”

    7. “Shouldn’t you be at the candidates debate, Mrs. Robinson?”

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