Living Rough

I’m not talking about that cardboard-box-under-the-freeway lifestyle, but the camping thing.

Outside the Army — which is a whole ‘nother sort of camping — and excluding those “tent in the garden” escapades as a child (which I didn’t much care for either), I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually pitched a tent and lived outdoors for longer than overnight.

And on one of those occasions there was a horrendous thunderstorm which caused a miniature flood in the campground, soaking our bedding and all our clothes.  We ended up sleeping in the car — as it happens, a 1976 Alfa Romeo sedan, which was never anyone’s idea of spacious.

We left for home at dawn the next day and that evening, three hundred miles away from the campground, my buddy and I scored with a couple of sisters at the bar of the Sunnyside Hotel in Johannesburg (where they were spending the weekend, much more sensible) and bonked our brains out overnight.

And said bonking took place in complete privacy and seclusion in the girls’ hotel room — okay, maybe there wasn’t that much privacy between the four of us — but it’s still better than Doing The Deed under canvas, where a noisy conclusion usually brings a loud round of applause from the other campers (don’t ask me how I know this).

So articles like this one leave me completely unmoved:

Perhaps you’ve been put off by the horrific scenes at airports up and down the country and are thinking: ‘No, I don’t need that.’ Perhaps the cost-of-living crisis is making you question a pricey holiday overseas. Perhaps the sunny weather we’ve been having is an encouragement to stay put here in the UK.

And that’s where camping comes in: easy-going, affordable and, if you follow our guide, you’ll discover there’s still availability for this summer.

…all accompanied by pictures of lush landscapes with no sign of thunderstorms, ants, mosquitoes, sundry rodents, wild beasts or murderers, which are all part of actual camping nowadays.  And nary a toilet in sight, of course.

The whole outdoor thing has been much overrated, in my opinion.

I might think about having a small-ish RV to tour around and so on, which could be okay, but that’s not really camping, is it?  (More like taking your apartment for a spin in the countryside.)

And you still have to find a toilet somewhere.  And forget altogether those bus-sized elephants which look like the things rock bands tour in.

I can hear the catcalls now:  “Kim, your idea of roughing it is staying at a Holiday Inn Express.”

Guilty as charged.  Your opinions may vary.

Slovenia

In response to my RFI about Slovenia, I got this from Reader Tim N:

Adding some holiday to work trips to Europe, one year we rented a car, drove from Germany through Austria (where our family lived in the early 50s), then to Slovenia and on to Venice before heading back to Germany.


Took a small boat to the island in middle of Lake Bled. A couple heard my wife and sister talking, asked “Are you Americans?” When they gave a positive answer, the same person asked “Why are you here?” The inference being, how did you find this wonderful place?
Wine is great, people, food, architecture. Just a wonderful visit. Will return.

Here’s a pic of said island (right-click to embiggen):

And there you have it.  Duly added to Ye Olde Buckette Lyst.

And yes, I envy Tim’s trip, bigly.

Errrr Not Yet

From my Inbox:

Cheap Flights: Dallas to London, United Kingdom $647-$683 r/t [Sep-Oct] – American Airlines / British Airways / Iberia / Finnair

Ordinarily, this little deal would cause my ears to prick up like a Kardashian’s at the sound of rap music, because:

 

…or more likely:

…and:

…etc.

However:

Heathrow Airport chaos: Passengers fume at ‘utter carnage’ with queues ‘outside terminal’

…and:

British Airways ask for passengers to scrap summer holiday plans

…and:

Heathrow imposes daily passenger cap and tells airlines to stop selling tickets

…and then there’s this:

And those silly people who think that all this will be resolved by September should heed the words of one of my Brit friends on the topic:  “September?  In which year?”

Not to mention that at any time, the Brits could panic over some trivial health issue and lock the whole fucking country down again (and with my luck, I wouldn’t be in a pub when they did).

Sad, really.  So… no.

Not Nice

…nor Cannes, nor even Monte Carlo.  The best place to be on the French Riviera (the Midi, if we’re going to be travel snobs) is none of the above, but at the gorgeous Juan-Les-Pins.

Here’s its location:

You need to get there in late March / early April, because when the season starts, the place fills up with celebrities (they know a good thing, the bastards) and the prices shoot up accordingly.

It is probably my #1 Lottery Destination (depending on when those bastards get their act together and realize that I am a Deserving Winner).  But out of season, even the Hotel Belles Rives is amazingly affordable.

…and that’s the ugly side.  Imagine staying for a week or so in this hotel room:

…with this sort of view:

…with this restaurant (one of two):

…offering this kind of food:

Oh, and did I mention the terrace bar?

Of course, you’ll be wondering if there are any sights to see.  If you can drag yourself off their private beach, you’ll see lots of the following:

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