Tag: Humor

Brought to you today by:

So on with that free stuff.

…but Daddy, aren’t electric cars the [ahem] wave of the future?

...let me know when the “toy” might be one of these:

...alternative:  the Royal Navy machine-gunning the dinghies.  Or:

…if this doesn’t make you smile, go away, you’re in the wrong place.

...shome mishtake, surely.

…FFS, is there ANYONE IN THE WORLD still unaware of breast cancer?

...I think I preferred it when cardinals protected sex-abuser priests.

...is anybody surprised by this, anymore?

…the word you’re looking for is “crowned” — what happens at a coronation.  “Coronated” was coined by Ebonicsmeister Jesse Jackson.

…I think I first saw this headline in 1968.

…and the story is even worse than the headline.

…them girlymen gotta stick together, you see.

...right after they finish arresting people for posting mean tweets.

...a.k.a. what happens when you don’t act your age.

And in War News:

...or to put it another way: we’re gonna go down bonking.

And among the irrelevancies known as INSIGNIFICA:

 

...here we go:

That’s enough news for the day.

Sponsored by:
FINE JAPANESE CUISINE

And on we go into the depths…

...I thought we’d done with this little trend, butt obviously not.

...actually, Weimar Germany never did anything like this to its citizens.  But the Nazis did.

...because the outcome of that discussion would be President Kamala Harris.

...as opposed to the “rule by unelected bureaucrats of the EU”?

...into a (red) brick wall.

From the Dark Continent:

...kinda torn here, between “nuke the whole continent” and “kill every fucking monkey in existence”.  Simian bastards.

...and if you didn’t chortle at that headline, we can’t be friends.  Also:

...ah, Africa, where if it’s not one thing that can kill you, it’s another.

And speaking of ugly ways to die:

...because nothing says “patient safety” like “mobile abortion clinic”.

...having eaten steak and ice cream my entire adult life, I can confidently state that this finding is total bullshit.  Supporting references upon request.

...just how much more suffering can the Brits stand?

...considering today’s state-schooled youth, that’s hardly surprising.

...either way, their Democrat governors will screw up the disaster management response.  As opposed to:

...anyone care to guess how long this would take in, say, New Jersey under similar circumstances?

And in INSIGNIFICA, some breaking errr breeding news:

 

...like hers.  ...in 300 million years.

...okay, now that the Grauniad has officially declared her a Danger To Humanity As We Know It, I can make my own judgement:

I think she’s totally hot.

And here’s a response to an email from Reader Tom L, who wrote:

Which automobile is the right one for taking the new Italian prime minister for a ride?

How about one of these?

It’s Giugiaro and Bizzarini’s Iso Grifo Spyder, with its 5.4-liter 350hp small-block Corvette V8 engine giving the petite Spyder a top speed of over 170mph.

American power and reliability coupled with Italian design and styling — need I say more?

Back to my traveling companion:

I’d learn Italian just so Giorgia and I could discuss conservative politics (for the record, her “far-right” political position is, in American terms, ever-so slightly right-of-center;  a couple of weeks closeted with me, and the Left would become apoplectic)…

…that is, when we’re not eating tenderloin crostini and drinking wine together in some small coastal village trattoria.

Not that I’ve given any of this much thought, of course…

Brought to you by our all-vegan sponsors:

So let’s skin it and wring it with some news:

From the Disaster Department (Florida Division):

...everybody panic!

...the FuturePOTUS shouldn’t have bothered.

In Italy:

...good thing they voted for her and not him, then.

And then there’s this, which might be a little more important:

...let’s hope she does.

...actually, that’s not bad advice.  I’m assuming the soldiers don’t have any clotting salve because Russia.

...as long as they swap them, one for one, with convicted Mexican criminal child molesters, then fine.

…the more science progresses, the closer it comes to magic.

From the Furrin Travel Department:

...as long as you want to visit Airstrip One, with their ubiquitous telescreens, $20 pints and non-existent crime, that is.  Oh, wait:

...having solved all other crimes, they can afford to do this.  Oh, wait:

...and of course, no guns or rights to self defense for you.  They, however, will be carrying Glocks, knives and machetes.  Also:

...so much for that tour of the UK, then.  And:

...yup:  never a better time.

Back on this side of The Pond:

...I suspect the “zero tourists” thing may have had something to do with it.

...but what if the FBI was responsible for the breach?  Asking for a friend.

...headline edited for clarity.

...which never existed anyway, except in Nancy Pelosi’s wet dream.

...remember Kim’s 7th Law:  no cameras in the bedroom, ever.

And from the bowels of INSIGNIFICA:

  …say okay, then ban her from the party.

And finally:

...perhaps if you dressed with just a tad more modesty, sweetie…?

And the pics in question:

I have no idea who this tartlette is, of course, and I suspect that the same may be true for many of my Readers.  So what follows is purely for educational purposes, of course:

 

 

Just your standard Hollywood skinny, then.

And so much for the news.