Your ideas in Comments.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
And speaking of women needing Nervine:
...maybe with each other, but no man should. And then there’s this:
...I don’t know if there’s enough Nervine left for this one — unless she’s the one who cornered the stuff.
Now for some Good Tidings:
And in Election News:
...keyword: Russia — but coming soon to a polling place near you.
...I guess “We’re totally fucked” was judged to be too inappropriate a summary.
In Legal Notes:
...well, “Jesus” told me she needs a swift cunt punt, but I managed to control myself.
...proving that when it comes to the law nowadays, there’s no room for facts and sanity.
...let’s hear it for the Second Amendment.
In Millennial News:
...well, except that it’s not your fucking money — yet — so they can spend it on whatever they want… you selfish asshole.
In Sporting News:
...and that’s just for the Swedish Olympic team.
...not that anyone would notice, or care.
And when it comes to 
...you don’t say, Jen! Here she was, back then:
...and here’s what she looks like today, around 51:
Still quite toothsome with, I suspect, a teensy-weensy bit of surgical help.
And that’s the news.
Conditions
Here’s a headline that got me thinking:
The state of Michigan is reportedly pushing a program offering citizens $500 a month to take in migrants.
The program, called the Newcomer Rental Subsidy, is set to provide shelter outside state shelters for “refugees.” The assistance would be available to homeowners for up to a year.
Were I not living in a tiny apartment in Texas but in a large-ish suburban house in Michigan, I might be tempted to take the Idiot State up on its offer.
I know, I know; but run with me on this one.
Of course, there would be (several non-negotiable) pre-conditions for my acceptance, such as:
- Only single females aged between 25-40
- Unmarried / not engaged / no boyfriend
- No children
- Close resemblance to Salma Hayek
- Must be prepared to teach me Spanish, starting with conversational topics such as “Please undress me now”, and phrases of that nature
- Must know how to cook meals not just Mexican. e.g. steak, eggs and chips, toasties etc.
- Must accept “cash tips” for services rendered around the house, e.g. laundry, ironing, massages and other personal services
…I think you’re getting the picture.
Otherwise, of course, the state could stick it up its ass.
Quote Of The Day
From SOTI:
“I am not a fan of Cerakote, it feels like wearing a prophylactic.”
I can’t remember when last I fired a gun with a Cerakote finish, and that’s also true of the second half of the sentence.
There’s nothing like the feel of blued steel to the gloveless touch, and also the other thing.
Monday Funnies
Apparently, last week’s Funnies were too… uh, close to the bone, so to speak. So today we’ll clean it all up and make it G-rated. You have been warned…
And apparently, all those nekkid asses last week were A Cheek Too Far, so:
You request, I comply. Now off to work you go.
News Roundup
And speaking of that White bread stuff:
...actually, I’m cool with that, just as long as “Black people” then become ineligible to get any kind of government support, welfare, MediCare or Social Security. Everyone’s always talking about “fairness” — well that’s fair: don’t pay in, don’t get anything out. (Also, define “Black”: Black, half-Black, quarter-Black, octoroon… where do you draw the line, and how?)
In Election News:
...forget it, Jake; it’s Carville.
...man, I bet ol’ Donald’s going to miss those dozens of Pence supporters in November.
...has anyone seen Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face lying around?
From the International News desk:
...nothing like a little UN and NGO “assistance”, is there?
...just another DEI initiative. If they’re not gonna breed, they may as well fight.
#Equality
Time for an update on Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:
...what happens when you buy into a hoax instead of looking at reality, where nobody wanted to rent the fucking things.
...and for those pissed-off French, German, Dutch, Spanish and Belgian farmers, this:
From the Dept. of Labor:
...which is all well and good. But did Tyson not just admit to breaking the law?
In other Business News:
...you have to ask yourself who would be that poor that they have to shoplift from Dollar G.
Time for some Crazy-Assed Shit News:
...I bet she’ll never use that dating app again. Also keyword: Georgia, and not Florida.
...and here I thought she could only have got it by banging someone who worked at the place.
And in matters of 
...seems that she’d not want that part of her life publicized; but here we are. And of course, she used to be a TV journalist (a group not exactly renowned for their chastity)… but she looks kinda wholesome — about a 7-8 or so:
And if that’s the news, we’re done.