Humor – Page 174 – Splendid Isolation

News Roundup

November 9, 2020 Kim du Toit Bad News

Guaranteed to be non-political, except for the first one. Also, naked pictures of Giada De Laurentiis at the end.

…and it’s long past time for Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingram and Sean Hannity to go to OAN or NewsMaxTV anyway. Fuck Fox News, and the Murdoch brothers.

…call me a disbeliever, as Yoakam’s dense adenoidal Southern drawl makes all his lyrics unintelligible, even to Texans.

…not that I want to take the side of a raving pinko like Hanks, but the offended Jamaicans (if they are in fact the offended ones) can just go fuck themselves.

…FFS, that makes me nauseated just looking at it. Also note that this is McDonalds UK, so Brits too can go fuck themselves every time they talk about “fat Yanks”.

…sounds about right.

…Irony Of The Day: he’s named Makarov.

…one would have thought that he might have put “parachute” and “my fear of heights” together in his mind before volunteering, but this is the modern generation.

…I would have said “too Left” but whatever.

…in other news, the village’s tourism revenue explodes.

.
…join me in welcoming the Emirates to the 20th century.

…FFS, if they wanted me to bonk for two solid months, they’d have to pay me more than that. Unless it was with Giada De Laurentiis.

And oh yes, I’m afraid I lied about Giada’s naked photographs. That was just marketing.

Here are some substitutes, of another TV chef:

Yeah, you’d bonk Nigella for two months for free. Most real men would.

Monday Funnies

November 9, 2020 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

Yeah, Monday.

But before we get to the funny stuff, a little catharsis:

Go ahead: prove me wrong, I dare ya.

Okay, now we can try to find some funny shit to giggle about.

May as well post some of these before it becomes illegal:

Lastly:

For some beauty, this is someone named Rachel ~~Hard~~ Hurd Wood:

And one last reminder for the Commies:

…and last week you defrauded us of our vote.

Caption Competition #150

November 6, 2020 Kim du Toit Captions, Friday Feature

Your suggestions in Comments.

3 Inexplicable Things About Modern U.S. Elections

November 5, 2020 Kim du Toit 3 Inexplicable Things

As observed in November 2020:

At least half of the population seems to be okay with living under a socialist government.
It doesn’t matter if you hold huge rallies for thousands of exuberant followers; unless their pickup trucks are also loaded with thousands of fraudulent ballots, you’re still going to lose.
Some conservatives still vote for the Libertarian Party, proving that the Left doesn’t have a monopoly on stupid ivory-tower idealists with an impractical, doomed-to-fail ideology.

Feel free to add the things you’ve learned, in Comments.