We’ve seen all this before, yea even upon this very website. From Insty’s link comes this silliness:
Leaving aside the self-contradiction — if Socialists are all about wealth redistribution, they should have no problem with richer states supporting the poorer states, yes? — any partition of North America is more likely to look like this:
And I’ve taken the liberty of renaming the respective nation-states; denizens of the PSSA will be called “Pissahs” (New England pronunciation) while the Constitutional Republic’s citizens will be known as “Crappies” (after the fish).
I jest, but only a little. Some comments:
Note that in my map — which is a lot more realistic than the first one — Pennsylvania, Illinois and indeed California / Oregon / Washington will likely divide themselves up, leaving Philadelphia, Chicago and the West Coast respectively to remain the bastions of socialism they’ve become (Austin remains a blueberry in the Texan bowl of tomato soup, and Denver / Boulder would retain their joint title of “Rocky Mountain LA”). Northern Virginia, like Chicago, can be excised from the rest of its mostly-conservative state.
As for New Mexico: several people have told me that the “Africa of America” (cf. Doc Russia) is really more conservative than presidential elections would suggest. I disagree. Too much of the state is either sucking on the government’s tit (Indians) or wants to (i.e. most of its Mexican immigrants), or else they don’t give a fuck because they’re always high on peyote, so into the PSSA they go.
Finally: I am assured by almost all my Canucki Readers that non-Vancouver B.C., Alberta, Saskatchewan and that other prairie state (Manitoba?) would really prefer to be part of the Constitutional Republic as drawn. As our Socialists / Greens hate oil so much, this would relieve them of the oil sands and fracking fields contained in those erstwhile provinces, not to mention all those icky gun-loving knickledraggers who are more like Middle Americans (whom the Left likewise despise). Me, I say “Welcome aboard!” I would most certainly not extend that welcome to people from Ontario (unless they split themselves away from Toronto), and as for the Frog Quebeckers, fuck ’em and their strange un-American language. I don’t care aboot the hundred or so people who live in Nova Scotia; they can decide for themselves.
Feel free to disagree with my hypothesis in Comments.
