Tag: Gluttony

Here’s a decent little video about making a decent piece of biltong.  The spices and mixes are exactly the same as mine (see below), and the only areas where we differ are that I make much bigger pieces so that the inside is much wetter than his (New Wife likes her biltong very wet), and I don’t use hot chili flakes (New Wife doesn’t like very hot foods).

At the end, the guy exclaims that he can eat biltong all day, like that’s something unusual.  If I leave it lying out on the cutting board, New Wife and I can gobble a stick a day, so I have to hide the damn stuff so that we forget about it.

Just remember that when you eat biltong, the dried meat expands in your stomach back to its original size.  I ration myself to about 8-12 slices per day.  Back in my Army days, I could make a stick last a week, and not lose a pound of weight.

I’m going to make some tomorrow.  It’s been a week already since the last lot, and the natives are getting restless.

Ingredients, per 1lb of raw meat:

• 8 tbsp red wine vinegar/brown apple cider vinegar
• 1.5-2 tbsp coarse (kosher) salt
• 2 tsp coarse ground black pepper
• 2-3 tbsp whole coriander seeds

Back when I lived in Johannesburg, I never lived anywhere that had air conditioning because, quite frankly, it wasn’t necessary — you’re hot, you open a window.  Maybe turn on a small fan if there’s no breeze, but there was always a breeze.

Because of that, I had to keep my butter in the fridge because otherwise it would spoil very quickly.

Now?  Forget it:  with a/c and a constant (cool) temperature, I always leave the butter out (covered, of course) because I hate tearing up my bread with stiff, cold butter.

Apparently, this is a thing.

WE have all been storing butter wrong – and we should make a very quick change to revamp our use of the dairy delight, according to one campaigner.

Joelle Mertzel is the leading the charge to change the way people treat their butter – insisting it should be kept out of the fridge. The 49-year-old says that butter does not have to be chilled – and can instead be kept happily on the counter for weeks on end. Joelle, a mum-of-three, from California, has even commissioned lab tests to prove her theory.
And she is campaigning to make the American government change their butter guidelines. 

Keyword:  guideline.

In other words:  who cares what the .dotgov “recommends”?  Remember when the Food Pyramid was their big deal?  And, as we all know, the pyramid has been proven to be totally fucked up, like oh-so many government “guidelines”.

Methinks the Californian woman has too much time on her hands if she’s bothering with this shit.

In passing, I should point out that in my house, no pound of butter has ever lasted longer than a few days before being consumed, so the whole issue is moot.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll make myself a sarnie.

…I mean development. As though Twinkies were not bad enough, the Hostess Baking Company has launched Bouncers.

“Wait, Kim… you mean like bouncing boobies?”

No.  I mean mini-Twinkies presented in sealed three-packs, but glazed — as though regular Twinkies were not sufficiently enticing.  (They kinda do look like mini-boobies, though.)

Of course, this being a full-service blog, I had to test them (so that my Loyal Readers won’t have to).

Verdict:  more than two (their “suggested servicing size” is three) will leave you “OMG-I’m-gonna-hurl” nauseated.

I had six.  Because Science.

Reader Mike L. sends me disgusting stuff like this — ugh — which forces me down a branch line of thought, basically to help me get rid of the taste of vomit.

I spend a lot of time talking about how much I love Britishland foods (fish & chips, meat pies, sausage rolls etc.) but I have to say that I’ve also come to love me some Tex-Mex dishes, e.g.:

and:

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the kitchen.