As a wise man once said to me: “Show me Paradise, I’ll buy us the tickets.”
Looks like this asshole didn’t find his Paradise:
A father-of-seven sales executive who moved his family from San Diego to Austin before moving back to California has been panned for his scathing op-ed complaining about the rude locals, the oppressive heat, the rain and the ‘bland’ culture.
…
Alder described Texas with its lower income taxes as a ‘conservative dystopia’ and said he felt cramped – even though his house was twice the size.
He listed a litany of ‘problems’ explaining why he decided to return West to the Bay Area including bad driving, the ‘lame’ car washes, the cost of living, the ‘monoculture that doesn’t seem to be aware of it’s own blandness’ and the fact he took his kids out of school because it was a ‘micro-managed military academy’.
But worst of all, he had to endure:
…cedar allergies, ‘terrible service’, the lack of places to hike and having to drive 40 minutes to a restaurant serving Southern Indian food.
Dude, to get anywhere in Austin takes a 40-minute drive, if you’re lucky. (Kinda like [chortle] San Jose, come to think of it.)
And if Austin (motto: “Keep Austin Weird”) has a “monoculture”, it’s a good thing he didn’t settle anywhere else in Texas. (Even better: Bee Cave? That area is so White, it makes Tide powder look mulatto.)
All in all, I can’t say Texas is sorry to see him and his family go. Two less Democrat voters to worry about.
Welcome back to California, and tell all your buddies to stay there. We have a surfeit of your kind here already.






















