Ranked in order of awfulness:
and a bonus (from Doc Russia):
You suggestions in Comments…
Seeing as we’re already on the topic (see next post below), you just have to know you’re in for a few laughs when an article begins with these words:
“The point of this article is to shamelessly up your orgasm quota..”
Race quotas, gender quotas, LGBTOSTFU quotas, and now orgasm quotas. Do we need any of these anymore?
Anyway, those are the seven things that Tracey Cox [sic] suggests “will guarantee an orgasm EVERY time”.
I am not an expert on these matters, but I have to tell you that in my somewhat checkered experience, a couple of them will guarantee not an orgasm but raucous laughter or the services of an osteopath. What’s needed in those cases are a good strong pulley setup and an ostrich feather, maybe two.
I will concede, however, that one of her suggestions is a 100% slam-dunk, every single time.
(And no, I’m not going to tell you which one. You can find it for yourself, just like I had to.)
Apparently it’s quite easy to restore a woman’s libido:
Zaps to the ankle may boost a woman’s libido more than foreplay: sending electrical signals from the foot to the base of the spine can cause arouse in less than 30 minutes
Knowing that my Loyal Readers are often of a DIY disposition, however, I would caution y’all before you try this on your girlfriends / wives / FWBs with your own equipment, such as this:
…or this:
The effect on yer beloved may be a little more, ummm extreme than you may have been expecting.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
For my Lady Readers: don’t even go there.
And a final thought: 30 minutes? If you can’t get yer old lady started with 30 minutes of traditional foreplay, you either need to update your technique or else check her pulse.
So a whole bunch of school districts are going to drop Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn because he uses the word nigger and thus is guilty of doubleplusungood racism and that might hurt the tender sensibilities of someone. The irony, of course, is that Twain almost singlehandedly changed the way the entire United States thought about race, with this very book. But he says the dreaded word nigger so therefore he is eeeevil and must be taken out of the canon. What a bunch of crap.
I was going to write a post about censorship — the fact that the Left and their Social Justice Warrior Brownshirts want to censor everything because [deep breath] raaaaycism / feminism / hurt feewings / patriarchism / White-ism / [enter the hate-motif du jour here]. But then I read this fine article at Gates Of Vienna, which begins thus:
The barbarians are among us. They are not lurking on the right or lower edges of society, they are not among the uneducated or the educationally failed, they do not come from under-developed regions. They are sitting at the levers of influence in art and science, they write in quality publications, discuss at universities, manage art galleries, dominate the talk shows. Nonetheless, they are barbarians, for in their innermost being, they despise art.
I have to tell you, I can’t do better a better job than he has. The fact that this was written by a European (German, no less) makes me feel a little better too, even if he is a lone voice among the Euro-censors. It’s an excellent piece; read all of it.
It’s time these bastards start to realize just what it is that they’re doing to our culture — and if they acknowledge that it’s a conscious act of subversion, then we need to scourge them with pen and tongue (also with whips, but that’s a topic for another time).
See, here’s the difference between Lefties and us Deplorables. On the Left, they just blab and blab:
In a tweet, Farrar joked he wanted to drown conservative students. When Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk remarked that the dark tweet was probably a joke, the leftist writer insisted, “I am not joking.”
That was all a part of his particular humor, but it’s understandable why a few did not think it was a joke. He did flat-out say “I’m not joking,” which demands everyone understand his unique sense of humor to know he’s not.
So here are the Deplorables:
Am I serious? Or is this just an example of my “unique sense of humor”?
Oh, and I’d just like to remind everyone that there is a waiting list, so y’all just have to be patient.
Afterthought: I’d just like to give a shout-out to the FBI, NSA or any of the Gummint alphabet agencies who might read the above: “Hey, assholes: it’s a joke.”
Maybe.
And just in case you get any ideas of coming after me…
So it turns out that a current Brit politician, the scumbag socialist Jeremy Corbyn, was once in the pay of the Communists. As a member of Parliament, the traitorous bastard is supposed to have passed on State secrets to the Commies in exchange for cash, according to the Commie spy who enlisted and paid him (as well as a couple other Labour MPs, by the way).
Needless to say, this revelation has been met with indifference and silence by his fellow-travelers in the BBC.
Both the above, of course, would be familiar to Older Readers who will recall that we had the same situation Over Here when it came to light that Sen. Ted “Swimmer & Traitor” Kennedy had actively been in contact with the Soviets, working to undermine then-President Reagan’s policies — a revelation that was largely ignored by his Commie fellow-travelers in the mainstream media as well.
Were it to be discovered that Republican Senator Bob Dole (for example) had been in similar cahoots with, oh, say ChilePres Pinochet, our ears would still be ringing from the screaming from the Left and Dole would no doubt have been imprisoned.
But selling out to the Commies? Yawn.
As always, my suggestion is simple. In the good old days, traitors were hanged, drawn and quartered. As we now live in a (supposedly) more civilized age, I’ll agree to forego the drawing and quartering, with regret, and just go with the hanging, thus:
