Auto-Ordering

Here’s a good one:

“When she went off my brother knew it had happened and came to me to check. I was in stitches but then I thought, ‘Hang on a minute, £107? I need to cancel this as quickly as I can’.”

Read it all for the full disaster.  Some conclusions:

  1. Don’t watch Borat movies (good advice for all time).
  2. When I say “Alexa, order me 5,000 rounds of 7.62×39”  and Amazon fills the order, I might actually think of allowing one of the poxy things in my house.  Or not.

WTF are “fleshlights”? #DuckDuckGo

Whoa… nevermind.

Work Stoppage

Never having used  any of the software products mentioned in this article, I have no dog in this fight.

TechCrunch reports that Microsoft has begun investigating an authentication outage that looked Office 365 users out of the platform preventing them from accessing Microsoft products such as Office, Outlook, and Teams.
Microsoft’s status dashboard stated that the issue started at 2:25 p.m. PT on Monday and impacted users across the globe for hours. Microsoft stated that some government users may be impacted by the issue, which may have impacted 911 communications in 14 states. The company stated in a series of tweets that it attempted to fix the issue but was forced to roll back its changes after the fix failed.

Yeah, let’s hear it for the Internet Of Things and Skynet, shall we?

My favorite part, though, is that elsewhere, Microsoft has steadfastly denied that the problem stemmed from a security breach / hack attack.

Which leaves… incompetence.

But you guys already knew that about MS.

Control

Regular Readers all know that I treat the Internet Of Things (IOT) with deep and hostile skepticism.  I hate the idea of driverless cars, “remotely-controlled” appliances and -household systems, and don’t even get me started on “smart” guns with embedded chips.

Here’s a decent takedown of the concept:

After a week of tinkering, he effectively turned the coffee maker into a ransomware machine.  When the user tries to connect it to their home network, it triggers the machine to turn on the burner, spew hot water, endlessly spin the bean grinder, and display a pre-programmed ransom message while beeping incessantly.  The only way to get it to stop?  Unplugging your now seemingly possessed coffee maker entirely.

I know that all this is The Coming Thing, and we should all just bow down and accept its inevitability.  My standard response to this kind of attitude has always been quite simple:

  or the more heated

or even

Stick shifts and car keys, bolt-action or pump action rifles, revolvers, “dumb” coffee machines, house keys, pen and paper… y’all get my drift, right?

Fuck automation, and fuck the Internet Of Things or Skynet or whatever the hell they want to call it.

This post comes to you courtesy of the Internet… goddamn it.

Alternative

Over at Insty’s place, there’s a post linking to a thing about the Marxists and the military, also containing the story of Gurgle censoring a blogger by hiding his site when you search for an article he wrote (specifically:  “Under Obama, there came to be a cancer in the Pentagon” with the addition of his website: “site:bookwormroom.com” in the search string.

Under Gurgle, nada.  Using DuckDuckGo, however:

Yup, it’s #1.

I don’t think I’ve used Gurgle for over two years, for just this reason.

Fair Warning

Via Insty. I see the following announcement:

Mercedes-Benz and Nvidia are going to build a new software-defined computing architecture for automated vehicles based on the Nvidia DRIVE platform that will be installed across the fleet of next-generation Mercedes-Benz vehicles, starting in 2024.
“The entire fleet, every car from the entry A-classes to the S-classes, will have the highest-performance Nvidia AI supercomputer on board.”
Shapiro said that each of these new Mercedes vehicles will come with the full surround sensor suite installed and then, similar to how Tesla does things today, it will be up to owners to decide if they want to activate features, either when they purchase the car or after the fact with an over-the-air update. “There will be different business models, subscription service possibilities or one-time fees or things like that, depending on the region, that potentially turns the car into a fully upgradable, perpetually upgradable device, and there potentially could be be a Mercedes App Store,” he said.

Emphasis mine because Mercedes, being German, will make that particular feature disappear just as Porsche decided that drivers shouldn’t be allowed to change gears manually in their (Porsche’s) precious little Nazi pocket rockets.

My take on the above, therefore, rewords their announcement thus:

If you’re going to buy a Mercedes, buy one before the 2024 model year comes to market. 

Me being me, I’d rather buy a still-older (but rebuilt) Mercedes, like this one (for about the same end-price of a comparably-sized new Merc):

 

…or even this Mercedes (which has had all the rebuilding done — see the pic gallery):

No silly tech doodads that cause your car to stop because some sub-system software failed, or because some AI algorithm decided that you’d done enough driving for the day, or that would require the entire IT Department at Daimler-Benz to fix it.

Just good, honest driving pleasure in a car with proven reliability.  What Mercedes used to be renowned for.

My simple belief is this:  we wouldn’t accept this kind of software built into our guns, so why should we allow it in our cars?