Category: Men & Women

Here’s an interesting story, and — you may all reach for the smelling salts now — it’s a topic on which I actually agree with Piers Morgan.

Celia Walden believes that “every woman” should have a male friend – but her husband Piers Morgan disagrees.

The 48-year-old revealed that the battle she’s fought to maintain close connections with men she cares about has been fiercely opposed by TalkTV star Piers, who insists they want sex. She clarified: “Full disclosure: my husband doesn’t like me having friends of the opposite sex.

“Like throw pillows, I’ve had to fight for every one I possess. He’s convinced (like so many men) that any straight man is only using ‘the old friendship ruse’ to try to sleep with me.”

Celia took a different approach, telling the publication she believes male pals might be like “husbands”, but they come totally free from “the sex or the resentment”.

No, they don’t.

I don’t trust men around women at the best of times — other than close friends and family — and it has nothing to do with jealousy or trust, either.

Here’s what I know.  At several times in her life, a woman gets to be emotionally vulnerable.  She’s feeling depressed, or she and hubby Had Words, or maybe she’s going through one of those “What about MY movie?” episodes… whatever, she’s fragile.  Men sniff that out because that’s what men do.  And at that point, all good intentions, firm resolutions and all that will disappear, and the ripe peach is plucked.  Add half a bottle of wine, and off you go.

She may hate herself right afterwards (or even during) the act, and hate Roger The Todger for being such an Absolute Bastard For Taking Advantage Of Her.

[insert frog and scorpion fable here]

But of course it’s too late, and to use the Afrikaans expression, the bullet has gone through the church and there’s no getting it back.

And just so we know what’s going on here, this is Celia Walden (48):

…and here she is with her total twat of a husband:

I wouldn’t trust other men around her, either, no matter how “platonic”.  Like I said, I know exactly where Morgan’s coming from, and I agree.

I still want to emulate Clarkson, though, and punch him in the face.

Okay, now I’ve seen everything:

And the best part?  It’s a sex toy for men, for a change.  To see how it works, follow the link;  it’s kind of interesting.

I know, I know:  “Who needs it?”  “What’s wrong with the old Mrs. Palm and her five offspring?”  “That’s just perverted!”  “Don’t need it.”  “It’s too damn expensive anyway.”

I must confess that I’m not in the target market — even when I was young enough to be so — but I find it intriguing as hell.

But I’ll tell you something for nothing.  When I think back on some past experiences, I bet the Tenga Flip Zero Gravity is better than a lot of those.

Speaking of demanding women…

Paloma Faith is reportedly back looking for love after she signed up to the celebrity dating app Raya.  The singer, 42, is on the hunt for Mr Right, but she won’t be settling for someone who doesn’t meet her needs.  Paloma has created a five point checklist as she set out the tough criteria her next partner will need to meet. 

Before we get entangled in that set of weeds, let me say at the outlet that whatever her “needs” may be, she’s hardly in any position to make demands of this sort.

For one thing, she’s not especially attractive to look at:

…and her figure, especially post-multiple childbirths, is not what I’d call much either:

She has a pleasant-enough singing voice, but her speaking voice is somewhat jarring, having that Cockney-street-urchin screech well to the fore.

Were I in her target market, it would be a strong pass.  No man should.