Health – Page 9 – Splendid Isolation

We Suck!

December 13, 2023 Kim du Toit Health, Numbers & Statistics

…at hospitals anyway, according to some organization:

Researchers at the Institute of Global Health Innovation at Imperial College London examined data on 38 developed countries.

The experts focused on four key patient safety indicators for their rankings: maternal mortality, treatable mortality, adverse effects of medical treatment and neonatal disorders.

For those who are too lazy to follow the link, here’s the table:

Yeah, I know: our hospitals are ranked lower because we take on more hopeless cases than most other countries will accept. (Whenever you read about some Third-World mope who needs to have the extra toes growing out of his neck removed, it’s always off to the U.S. and not to Sweden, because they just won’t take the case.)

I also note with some skepticism the high rank of the Netherlands, which is the absolute last place where I’d go to hospital because of the Dutchies’ fondness for involuntary euthanasia.

Finally, not being of a medical bent myself, I have no idea whether the criteria of “maternal mortality, treatable mortality, adverse effects of medical treatment and neonatal disorders” are the best pointers towards judgement of hospital quality; I’ll leave that to my Sawbones Readers to comment on.

Finally, Some Good News

December 7, 2023 Kim du Toit Health

…if you’re a compulsive wanker, that is.

While the scientific evidence is still limited, it makes logical sense that regularly using the prostate as it was designed – to create seminal fluid and eject it out of the body – is going to be more beneficial in the longer term than not using it.

The prostate is part-muscle – it contracts during an orgasm to make sure semen goes in the right direction – and all muscles in the body benefit from regular use or they can weaken. And as with any part of the body that secretes fluid, such as the ears or nose, there is a risk of build-up and blockages.

There is some evidence that, if you don’t clear secretions from the prostate, you can end up with an obstruction which, in turn, may cause infection and lead to prostatitis – inflammation of the prostate. This can cause pain and discomfort.

There is also a theory that ejaculating clears the prostate of other potentially inflammatory chemicals.

‘I encourage men with sexual dysfunction to always use an erection. There’s no evidence that abstaining is good for you.’

Ultimately there are no real downsides to upping your sex life – whether solo or with a partner – and lots of potential positives.

And now, if you’ll excuse me…

Oh shuddup. It’s for my own good.

Health Issues Etc.

November 16, 2023 Kim du Toit Health

Yesterday was time for my annual checkup, so after enduring the no-coffee / no-food “fast” for reasons of bloodwork, I settled in to have my chat with Dr. ShitForBrains.

Perhaps a little background is necessary. I have had three primary doctors since the Great Wetback Episode of 1986 — or perhaps I should say that I’ve outlived two doctors, and am on my third. (The first, in Chicago, died of leukemia; the second, in Plano, died of a heart attack.) Doctor #2 was nicknamed “Shit-for-brains” by the family because he was, to put it mildly, the world’s worst diagnostician. No matter how much information we gave him, he’d get it wrong. Lovely man, piss-poor doctor. We were just about to get another doctor when he snuffed it, and we inherited Doctor #3 in the same practice, who is definitely not ShitForBrains, but the nickname (rather unfairly) has become generic, to distinguish him from the other doctors we’ve since acquired (dermos, heart specs, etc.). We have an excellent relationship, truly fine, and he gets my sense of humor (as you will see).

Back to yesterday’s visit. Here’s more or less how it went.

SFB: All your vitals are good: weight has dropped (by 40lbs!), BP is excellent, circulation fine, respiration excellent, thyroid fine. When the bloodwork comes back, we’ll check the cholesterol and so on, but I don’t see any issues. Had any problems since last time?

Kim: I’ve just started having plantar fasciitus attacks in my right foot.. Came out of nowhere, very owie two days back, a little better today.

SFB: [winces] Ouch! Sorry to hear that. I’ll give you a printout that’ll help, for exercises.

Kim: Exercises? I’m in pain, here. Can’t you give me a quick pop of Lidocaine or something?

SFB: Hahaha no.

Kim: It’s a good thing I left my gun in the car, or else we’d be having a different conversation about Lidocaine.

SFB: Kim, you know my policy about gun fights in my office.

Kim: Wouldn’t be much of one; you’re not carrying.

SFB: No, but Christie is. [nods towards his assistant, who gives me That Look]

You’d think I’d have remembered that, because ’twas I who taught her how to shoot and helped her buy her first gun, about eight years back (S&W Lady Smith in .38 Spec+P — she’s since acquired a Kimber Ultra Carry in .45 ACP because she’s a big girl and can handle it).

Anyway, by then the pain had subsided somewhat, so after having had blood taken, I was on my merry way.

Good health: I haz it. (Apart from typical Olde Phartte issues and a sore foot.)

Not bad for… fucking hell, 69 on Sunday.

Time for another gin.

Point Of Principle

September 5, 2023 Kim du Toit Bureaucracy, Government Thugs, Plagues and Poxes, Resistance, Rights

I see that the medical scaremongers and charlatans are now mumbling (soon to be shouting, no doubt) about how the latest ‘n greatest Covid variant is going to kill us all unless we do all that shit that didn’t work the last time.

I might as well get it off my chest now:

I will not wear a face mask, because they’ve been proven ineffective and hamper my breathing
I will not patronize any business (or government office) that mandates the use thereof
I will likewise not curtail my social or commercial activities under terms of any government-mandated lockdown
I will not get yet another vaccination of some unproven (and apparently also ineffective) drug against this new Covid, nor any other Covid strain for that matter
any attempt to coerce me into doing any of the above will meet with a hostile, perhaps (depending on the circumstances) even violent response from me.

Others may join me in this, or not — it is a matter of complete indifference to me, as this is a purely personal position.

Corollary:

We know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work.

Well, That Wasn’t Any Fun

August 16, 2023 Kim du Toit Health

Last night I suddenly developed the most excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. Came out of nowhere: one minute I’m searching for pics of Carol Vorderman’s extensive superstructure, the next I’m doubled up on the couch and moaning like a Democrat forced to sing the National Anthem.

So did I go to the ER? Silly rabbits, I’m a MAN — of course I didn’t wimp out and seek medical attention.

Now before anyone starts yelling at me — especially those Readers of the Female Persuasion — lemme ask y’all this:

What if it had just been gas, somehow bottled up and unable to be released? You’d feel like a proper Charlie if the ER doc were to look at your CAT scan, shake his head sorrowfully and say, “Take two Gas-X and call me in the morning”, with the unspoken corollary: “What a total pussy.” That was not going to happen. So I waited overnight.

However, by this morning the symptoms had not abated — got worse, actually — so I girded up my loins and went off to the local Doc-In-The-Box to get a CAT scan. But the nearest one had closed down for good. So I went to another one close to the apartment, and they were open but — their CAT scan machine was broken.

By this time, the combination of frustration plus pain in my gut — I was driving bent over like a Florida geezer — made me say “Fukkit!” and so I ended up at GlobalMegaHealthCorp LLC, at the other end of Plano, FFS. I went in promptly at 9.15am, was seen promptly at 11.15am, had the CAT scan promptly at 2.30pm, and was on my way to CVS promptly at 4.05pm.

Which is why I always try to go the the little ER clinics for visits of this nature: in, scanned, diagnosed, prescribed and out in generally less than 90 minutes. If they’re a little busy.

Anyway, I suppose you want to know why I’m still doubled over in pain, waiting for the Blessed Medications to kick in?

Diverticulitis (non-complicated), treated with Cipro and some other antibiotic. According to Doc Russia (who diagnosed me correctly over the phone while I was waiting in the ER room), I should feel better by tomorrow.

Let’s hope. In the meantime, I’m debating whether to pop a Tylenol-3 (the one with codeine) to help me get through the night.

Of course, I’m also counting my blessings. This pain could have pointed to something really foul like a hiatal hernia, appendicitis (even though I’m too old for that shit) or the Evil Cousin of diverticulitis, a perforated bowel (which can seriously fuck up your weekend picnic plans). Not to mention all the other shit down there that can creep up on Olde Pharttes and kill us like a smackeroo-blurdy. That part of the body is like a WWII German minefield, with stuff just waiting to kill you. But it wasn’t any of that.

Oh, and one small piece of other news: my weight has gone down from 265 to 240, in just under two months. My goal: Army weight (205-210), or maybe even less if I can stick with it. Here’s me, in approved SADF browns, circa 1977: