Category: Funny Stuff

Fighting Off The Bully

Mocking Furriners, Pussification Parade, The Gun Thing

Apparently, dogs attacking people is becoming a thing in Britishland.

Here’s one to make you wonder:

Fighting off an XL bully is nearly “impossible,” according to a martial arts expert. Self-defense tycoon Matt Fiddes, 44, has called for a ban on the beasts and said that if anyone finds themselves confronted by one then do your best to run away.

Run away from a dog?  Yeah, that’ll work.  The exercise will just make him hungrier.

Of course, Over Here we don’t have to listen to bullshit like this because we have recourse to fine tools like this one:


…loaded with your choice of .410 goodness (I’m kinda torn between #2 and #5, but I can be persuaded, in Comments):


Of course, the Brits could use pepper spray — no wait:  “Carry and use of pepper spray by common citizens is banned under Section 5(1)(b) of the Firearms Act 1968”.

What about tasers or stun guns?  “Stun guns are considered firearms, and as such are also controlled under the Firearms Act 1968”.

Looks like they’re stuck with:


…although they’re probably also banned under the “Dangerous Club Act 1968”, or something.

Sure must be nice to live in such a state of fear — hooligans, thugs, dangerous dogs etc. — all because of stupid laws.

I prefer living in the state of Texas, thank you.

Spanking Opportunity

Eco-Crap, Freaks & Loonies

Here’s a way to deal with the Glue Movement — okay, first a little background from Reader Mike L.:

Coco Gauff’s U.S. Open semifinal victory over Karolina Muchova was delayed by 50 minutes because of a disruption by four environmental activists in the Arthur Ashe Stadium stands Thursday night. One protester glued his bare feet to the concrete floor.

My first reaction to this little reindeer game was to think:  “If they’re glued to the floor, they can’t run away, can they?”

Which led to the following (perhaps unworthy) visual:

Oh sure, like I’m the only one who thought of that when reading the article…

There’s A Smell In The Air

Food & Drink, Lies and Untruths, Veggies & Vegans

…and no, it’s not the smell of cooking vegan burgers:

Britons are turning away from meat with a majority backing subsidies for plant-based alternatives, according to the RSPCA.

New figures suggest a revolution in eating habits for a nation that was previously defined by its love of roast beef and a fry-ups, with their bacon, sausages and eggs.

A study sponsored by the animal charity found 58 per cent have taken steps to eliminate or reduce their own meat consumption.

Uh huh.  I bet the study was taken in Islington, among people seen leaving vegetarian and vegan restaurants, and duh!  it’s coming from the RSPCA, hardly an unbiased organization.

That smell?  Ah yes:  it’s non-vegan bullshit.

All this, among actual data showing that vegan (i.e. fake meat) food-producing companies are in financial difficulties if not going out of business altogether, ditto vegan restaurants and so on.

But if you repeat the lie often enough, it becomes the truth.  [cf. climate change, Josef Goebbels]

Still:

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Some deep thoughts for the day:

Ah, never mind;  let’s just go with outright defiance:

Is it too soon for Hawaii Fire jokes?

Nah, fukkem.  They always vote Democrat, anyway, the hippie assholes.

And speaking of island paradises and suntans:

Here’s one which describes my condition:

So… let’s head off to work:

…with or without a tan.