But first, our weekly update:
And going back to creatures of the forest:
And to end this silliness off, a few pictures of questionable taste:
I mean, I wouldn’t want to break with tradition now, would I?
Be off with you.
Category: Funny Stuff
By Any Other Name, Part Deux
Let’s assume that your name was Mahmood El Snaipah, and you wanted to bring attention to the Holy Cause Of Islam by orchestrating attacks on critical energy facilities by targeting an oil pipeline in South Dakota and an electrical substation in North Dakota.
Can you spell T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-M, children? Of course you can.
Then there’s this asshole:
Cameron Smith, a 50-year-old Canadian national, used a high-powered rifle, to inflict significant damage to both a transformer and pipeline equipment, resulting in widespread disruption of electrical services and interrupting pipeline operations.
But he’s not a Muzzie terrorist; he’s an eco-terrorist, you see:
Smith told the court his actions were driven by frustration after years of trying to raise awareness of climate change through lawful means.
… so his behavior must be excused?
Not bloody likely:
Smith has been sentenced to 25 years in federal prison for orchestrating attacks on critical energy facilities in the United States.
Now we come to the boo-hoo part:
He said he chose remote locations to avoid harming people, and he argued for a lesser sentence, citing his autism and Crohn’s disease.
“This is tantamount to a life sentence, and I don’t think that’s right,” Smith said. He expressed doubt he would receive adequate medical care while incarcerated.
And the takeaway quote:
“I won’t survive this,” Smith said.
I hope you shit yourself to death. Painfully. Over the next twenty-odd years.
The Market
Here’s an interesting development in the OnlyFans business:
From Deansgate Square in the south to Collier’s Yard in the north, this is the extraordinary story of how Manchester’s new breed of ultra-luxury apartment blocks became playgrounds for a new generation of social media star.
‘This is where the magic is made,’ Jordan Smith, the 30-year-old founder of Rebel – a content creator agency – told the Mail. ‘Manchester has become a hub for creators. It’s well connected, there are investors and opportunities here. But it’s also great for creators as they can collaborate and make content with one another.’
One of Jordan’s most in-demand clients* is Harry Bourne, who strips off online under the stage name ‘Haxzy’.
‘London is more for the older generation,’ Harry tells the Mail, reclining on an armchair in his 35th-floor luxury apartment in the north west of the city. ‘Manchester is the home of the future.’
At the age of just 19, Harry has been ‘modelling’ on OnlyFans for the best part of a year. His success has been remarkable: 800 people pay £9.99 a month for his basic content. But, he assures me, ‘you won’t even get to see my “bulge” for that. Everything is extra.’ Indeed, more graphic content can cost an awful lot more. ‘I’m not one of these influencers** who will sell their whole kebab for five quid,’ Harry admits. ‘I’ll go fully naked, but only for the right money.’
It all means that Harry, who describes himself as an ‘actor***’, makes a staggering £30,000 a month – of which Rebel takes 30 per cent. ‘Other agencies**** take up to 70 per cent,’ he says, with a knowing look. Harry is a straight man, claiming that he sleeps with up to ten different women a month. However, apart from ‘the odd female subscriber’, the majority of his audience are gay men. ‘I work about an hour a day,’ he boasts. ‘But I do stay productive. I like going out in my car, picking up birds… in my heart, I’m a good lad and I look after myself.’
Seems like it. Here’s a quick glossary of the terms used:
*clients: hookers
**influencers: whores
***in the old days, “actor” (or “actress”) and “whore” meant the same thing. Looks like we’ve regressed.
****agencies: pimps
I am so glad I’m not part of this world.
LOL Of The Day
Once more with feeling from the Comment section at Knuckledragger’s:
That’s also sorta true with chastising people who use “bullets” when they mean “cartridges”. Yes I know, the bullet is really the part that leaves the casing and comes out of the naughty end of the gun (oops I mean barrel), but saying “I’m outta cartridges!” just doesn’t have the same ring as “I need more fuggin’ bullets!”
I’d rather just chastise someone for not having enough ammo.
Also: far be it for me to say this, but we really shouldn’t be guided by anything the Army says, because their fuckup rate in all things is phenomenal. And that’s true of any army.
Monday Funnies
Annnnnd here we go:
But still, there’s this:
And finally, here’s the latest in our “Little Ladies Out Shopping” series:
And much later:
Now off you go; haven’t you got any shopping to do?
Mugshots
Came across this rogues’ gallery of all the villains leaders of the EU (click to embiggen):
Of course, I only recognized a few of them, EUPres Ursula van der Leyen over on the right, the dwarf Zelensky in the middle (but unless things have changed, Ukraine isn’t a member so WTF?) but anyway…
Then on the left of the pic are our two heroes: my girl Giorgia Meloni from la bella Italia, and Viktor Orban of Hungary:
Giorgia, as always, looks lovely and stylish because Italian duh, and ol’ Viktor looks like he bench-presses an 18-wheeler every day before his breakfast of rusty nails ‘n blood — a manly man, especially when compared to his chinless counterparts among the rest.
Take out those two (and throw in that filthy Commie Keir Starmer from the UK), and you could pretty much just machine-gun the rest. The world, and certainly Europe, would be a much better place for people to be.
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