Category: Funny Stuff

Appropriate Gesture

Funny Stuff, Sports

Alert Reader Danny P. notified me of something which he thought worthy of comment (me too):

Sex toy thrown on court during final moments of WNBA game

…which gave me the giggles because:

What actually gave me the giggles was not the item per se, but the way it was removed from the court:

The game was paused as police and arena security entered the court to remove the object.

Police AND security?  Let’s not take any chances here, folks.  (No ATF Bomb Squad, even?)

A police officer was seen carrying the object in a towel and removing it from the court.

What, no hazmat suits?

Anyway, as of now it appears that the fuzz haven’t been able to find the miscreant wot dun it, and I hope they don’t.

A lime-green florescent dildo… I didn’t even know they came [sic]  in that color.

Finally, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that as a spectacle, the Great Lime Dildo Incident was probably more exciting than the WNBA game.

Top Three Sex Tips For Older Women

3 Inexplicable Things
  • After the age of 35, never go on top unless it’s reverse cowgirl. (Executive Summary:  your face looks like a bloodhound as the skin sags.)  Just beware of the reverse cowgirl too, because he’s going to get a good view of your saggy, wrinkled butt.  It’s far less stressful to do the naughty under these conditions:

  • If you’re going to go for a toyboy, the ideal formula is:  your age divided by two, and above.  If the result is less than 30, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Ignore if fabulously rich or else once fabulously gorgeous, e.g. Joan Collins.

  • Over the age of 50, never be photographed showing your knees, unless you’re sitting down with legs bent (see pics below of Jane Seymour, 74, who follows this rule religiously).

(Executive Summary:  Wrinkles around the knees are like rings on a tree:  they increase with age.)

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Sorry, Wrong Guy

Funny Stuff

Reader Brian H. set me this lovely piece of satire:

“I could find someone here in town as important as a bass player.”

Ohhhhh, that stings.


Atlantic Showband’s bass player, June 1977

In my defense, I should point out that at that particular gig I managed to bed a girl that at least two others in the band had tried it on with, and been rebuffed.