Let’s start off with some Political News:
...also too incompetent, too corrupt, too socialist, etc.
...oh noes, yet another red wave (which will turn into a pinkish trickle — if that — on Election Day).
And in Furrin Political News:
...which was so unexpected that the socialists didn’t have time to “find” more votes for their candidate.
From the Pentagon Papers:
...fired soldiers to Army: get fucked. (Well, I would.)
...DUDE! Also, typo.
In the Animal Kingdom:
...takes a while to change a whole nation’s cuisine choices, dunnit?
And speaking of foreign shitholes:
...when you’re worse than California, Cuba and Venezuela...
In Sex News:
...begging the question: what exactly was a 20-year-old woman doing in a cemetery at 4am, alone?
...just taking a page from the Schumer/Feinstein playbook, really. [/puke]
...wait: women have orgasms? Must be some new thing.
In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:
...actually, a cheaper solution would be just to ship all the JustStopOil and similar Greenpeace loonies to the Moon. Without space suits.
And when it comes to INSIGNIFICA:
...well, to be fair, nobody uses pocket watches anymore.
...no great loss; it was a terrible show without Clarkson, May and Hammond anyway.
...and nobody cares. However, Hannah Fry is a ginger hotty:
And on that red-hot note, we end the news.
...and all for nothing, as Bernstein was a terrible conductor.
...relax, kids: it’s only gonorrhea.
