News Roundup

Speaking of “letting go”, there’s always a good time, with


...now all we need to do is get rid of that stupid law that mandates state education for all kiddies, regardless of immigration status.


...as futile gestures go, this makes the Animal House parade disruption seem earth-shattering.



...let’s not forget Dallas, guys.  We’ve got plenty of illegal-immigrant crime to take care of, down here, and it’ll boost your numbers bigly.

And in related news:


...fair trial, followed by execution.


...see above.


...see above.


...a.k.a. irrelevant themes for an irrelevant conference.


...I would say “co-equal”, but who’s counting.


...why are we still listening to this horrible scold, anyway?

In the War On Terror:


...about damn time somebody did.  And speaking of terrorist orgs:


...so for all those asshole Greens who want to do that in the civilized world… stop that shit.


...I would have been a better choice, but this might not be too bad.


...somehow, me old darlin’, I just don’t think that’s going to be much of a danger for you.  And:


...first time I’ve ever heard the term “salacious activity” applied to wanking.

And now for some true 

And as we scan the view on :


...my favorite Pussycat Doll.  And not bad for a semi-centenarian.

   

And on that recumbent note, we can end this thing.

News Roundup

Why do I love the old days so?  Anyway, here’s some stuff about the modern day:


...never mind;  I predict that pretty soon, cross-country skiing will become an important tourist attraction… in Ireland.  So there’s that.


...not that Iceland was ever a relevant country, other than as a NATO airbase.

Yet more


And speaking of The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© :


...and once more, let’s play the “national origin” game
#Muzzies #NoPrizes

Coming out of the Police Blotter:


...Commie bastards spying on some other Commie bastards.  Also:


...and yet he’s very much alive and the President, and you’re dead, you filthy pedophile.


...I miss the old Son of Sam days, when it was at least a dog.  When you’re taking your orders from insects… I blame the Democrats.

And from the Dept. of Education:


...one wonders how this silly bitch thought it was going to end, but that presumes a mental state capable of thought.  Ditto this one:


...giving a whole new slant to the term “Phys Ed”.

Here’s something from the Dept. of Health:


...and no, this time it wasn’t Britishland’s legal system.
#WTFAustria?


...life as Michael Corleone’s wife must have been tough.

And in this week’s (blessedly) un-linked 

And in our Possibly Fake Headline section:


...what? you know the judge would do it if he could.

And running headlong down  :


...you know, I just can’t help thinking that our Kimmie might just do better at her exams if she spent more time at the books than doing this kind of thing:


No man should, although so many have.

And that’s the news as it was, sorta.

News Roundup


...wait, you mean that I sold my Chevy Suburban and bought a Prius for nothing?

In


...only 25?  They need to pump up those numbers or else we’ll think they’re just not trying hard enough.


...forgive me if I think the term “migrant economy” should not exist in the United States.


And similarly in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© :


...of course, his motive is a total mystery to both law enforcement and the press.
#France #Unexpected


...see above.
#ThanksAngelaMerkel


...in which we play the “Guess The City” game.
#Minneapolis

In International Hunting News:


...probably a whole lot cheaper just to hire a bunch of good ol’ boys from the Appalachians to do the job.

From the Sports Pages:


...yes, this will absolutely help Nike recover market share.
#BudLiteFuckup

From the Dept. of Education:


...the word “allegedly” is in there somewhere, but we all know the truth.


...Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face is in danger of perishing from over-use.

Time for some 

In our Almost True Headlines section:


...hey, it wouldn’t surprise me.

And as we peruse the real estate listings in :


...for those who don’t know, this is ol’ Charlie Sheen’s castoff:

In the first iteration of the headline, the word “dating” was used;  I simply edited it to reflect the reality of the thing.

And if that doesn’t sour you on the news, nothing will.

News Roundup

Never mind what girls love or don’t love…


...wait a minute:  weren’t we told by all the experts that the climate was going to boil over next year?  So what’s with the “re-ignite” thing?

And on the same Climate Hysteria! note:


...one would think that there’d be a revolution against anyone outlawing the barbi Down Under, but the supine Aussies were well and truly cowed by the Covid Crackdown so this will probably happen without protest.  Next to be banned:  beer.

And from global cooling to


...umm 1,700 a month (errrr carry the seven) works out to about one million a year across the top 50 U.S. cities.  Impossible dream?


...as long as there are some hangings etc. to follow… but I’m not too confident.


...wait, wait:  does this mean criminals disobey all those gun control laws?  [faints]


...wait:  there are illegal immigrants in New Jersey taking jobs from hardworking mafiosi?
#Fergeddabahtit


...couldn’t agree more.  I’m thinking that one million deportations a year from now on might be acceptable.

In Global Jihad News:


...now where in Michigan did this happen, again?
#Dearbornistan #NoSurprisesThere


…funny, that:  different countries, same terrorists, same outcome.

In Election News:


...and the FBI will send undercovers to watch the observers who are watching the monitors, and then… California will just elect the usual crop of socialists into office.  Again.
#WasteOfTime


...only nine points?  They must have done the survey in the Cornell Law School faculty lounge.

From the Dept. of Health:



...and of course, nobody thought to just stick him in their car and drive him to hospital after an hour or two.
#FecklessIdiots #Scotland

Some Sex News:


...I’d love this one to be true, but there’s a distinct whiff of bullshit in the air about it.

And now for some truly

 

And from her little studio in :


...not sure she’s worth the $14.50 per month sub, but that’s just me.

So much for the news.

News Roundup

But never mind all that unseemly laughter, let’s:


…and the reaction from non-Californicators and non-Oregonads at the prospect of losing San Francisco, LA and Portland:

Some good things from


...one more time, add a zero to that total so we can get really happy.


...weren’t the Boston cops going to RESIST! or something?  Oh no, wait, that’s on the Left coast:


...I thought she was about to retire, the poor old addled thing.  Anyway, let’s see how that resistance/arrest thing plays out.


...do we have a similar ROE Over Here?  If not, why not?

And in Sporting News:


...yes, Mr. Blaine, I am shocked — shocked!  — to discover that there’s gambling on professional sports.

From The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© :


...I’m just curious as to when the German voters finally say, “Genug!”

In Lawn Ordure (International) News:


...at least she didn’t post hateful words in social media.  (Update:  they’ve since dropped the charges.  Sadly, the fear of tar and feathers did not seem to be a factor.)

And let’s have some decidedly non-linky

And a new feature, Headlines That May Be Just A Little Inaccurate:


...once again, no man should.


...although I wouldn’t be all that surprised if it was actually true.

Lastly, on our leisurely saunter down :


...Keely who…. oh wait, that one:  800-meter Olympic gold medalist Keely Hodgkinson:

 

And that’s a nice end to the news.

It’s Not Just Beds

While I was tempted to headline this post with “Smart Beds, Stupid People”, there’s a much bigger issue at stake here.

You see, as much as we might laugh at the idiocy of people who would depend on something as fragile as the Internet to operate their frigging beds (FFS), just stop and think about how much else is dependent on SkyNet:  communications, banking, traffic systems, logistics, security systems, even mapping services and cars (don’t get me started)… the list goes on and on, ad nauseam.

And yet people like me, who rail against the vulnerability of this encroachment on basic daily functions are patronized (“There there, Gramps, just take your pill and go to bed”) and called Luddites.

What about this much-lauded artificial intelligence thing?

An artificial intelligence system (AI) apparently mistook a high school student’s bag of Doritos for a firearm and called local police to tell them the pupil was armed.

Taki Allen was sitting with friends on Monday night outside Kenwood high school in Baltimore and eating a snack when police officers with guns approached him.

“At first, I didn’t know where they were going until they started walking toward me with guns, talking about, ‘Get on the ground,’ and I was like, ‘What?’” Allen told the WBAL-TV 11 News television station.

Allen said they made him get on his knees, handcuffed and searched him – finding nothing. They then showed him a copy of the picture that had triggered the alert.
close up of hands using a laptop keyboard

“I was just holding a Doritos bag – it was two hands and one finger out, and they said it looked like a gun,” Allen said.

Yeah, it’s all funny and stuff — until one day we discover that A.I.-generated police ROE training allows for lethal shooting at suspects “to eliminate the threat”.  Oh wait… you think robot cops are just a figment of Hollywood imagination?  Given that cops are facing staff shortages (#ThankYouBLM) and falling recruitment numbers (#ThankYouWokeCityGovernments), does anyone care to bet against me about this scenario?

Here’s the thing.  Try to write a story that has an unbelievable premise about the baleful effects of technology on a distant-future society, and I’ll show you:  tomorrow.  Bloody hell, the most prophetic form of hostile future technology that you can imagine is probably being beta-tested somewhere as we speak.

Even Blade Runner  is starting to look like a near-future dystopia rather than some far-off eventuality.

Having your bed controlled by SkyNet is the least of our problems.