Category: Bad News

But never mind all that unseemly laughter, let’s:

…and the reaction from non-Californicators and non-Oregonads at the prospect of losing San Francisco, LA and Portland:

Some good things from

...one more time, add a zero to that total so we can get really happy.

...weren’t the Boston cops going to RESIST! or something?  Oh no, wait, that’s on the Left coast:

...I thought she was about to retire, the poor old addled thing.  Anyway, let’s see how that resistance/arrest thing plays out.

...do we have a similar ROE Over Here?  If not, why not?

And in Sporting News:

...yes, Mr. Blaine, I am shocked — shocked!  — to discover that there’s gambling on professional sports.

From The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© :

...I’m just curious as to when the German voters finally say, “Genug!”

In Lawn Ordure (International) News:

...at least she didn’t post hateful words in social media.  (Update:  they’ve since dropped the charges.  Sadly, the fear of tar and feathers did not seem to be a factor.)

And let’s have some decidedly non-linky

And a new feature, Headlines That May Be Just A Little Inaccurate:

...once again, no man should.

...although I wouldn’t be all that surprised if it was actually true.

Lastly, on our leisurely saunter down :

...Keely who…. oh wait, that one:  800-meter Olympic gold medalist Keely Hodgkinson:

 

And that’s a nice end to the news.

Ah, the good old days when we could unashamedly use  !BOOBS!  to sell products.  But now:

...Florida, Texas brace for impact of still more Yankees.  FFS.  Still… okay, quit hogging the popcorn, y’all.

...actually, the opposite:  the deportations aren’t unpopular, and everyone who’s MAGA is united behind them.  Other than that, it’s quite true.
#MSNBC

...funny, we were just about to say the same about the Democrats.

Some International News:

...remember, it’s all part of The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©.

...like we care what the fence-sitting, speed-hating chocolate makers do.

...just to remind everyone:  it took until 1975 for Seffrica to get broadcast television.

In the Lawn Ordure Files:

...what pisses me off is that he actually got two sentences of 18 years for each offense, but the asshole judge decreed that they be served concurrently instead of consecutively.
#JudicialBullshit

...and still no mention of weekly floggings, castration or flaying.

In Business News:

...that just gives ol’ Elon more reserve stock for his Mars colonization plans.

...says the retail organization who pretty much caused the whole “off-shore production” activity.  I’ll believe this bullshit statement when 80% of Walmart merchandise is made in the U.S.
#NeverGonnaHappen

From the Dept. of Education:

...she was saving her vag for the highschoolers’ trip, no doubt.

And in the usual

         

And speaking of that lot, as we drive headlong down :

...first thought:  because she’s an attention-seeking slut, like the entire Kardashian coven?  I report, you decide:

Amazing;  after all that surgery and such, she’s still less attractive than the average Moscow street prostitute.

#NoManShould

Let’s start this thing off properly:

...two words:  THOUGHT EXPERIMENT.  So… apocalyptic nonsense.

But back in the real world:

...can’t wait to see the viewership numbers.
#CharlieSmiles

From the Dept. Of Health:

...get ‘er done.
#BlindinglyObvious

From the :

...not sure I agree with this one, unless these 200 kids are accompanied by a dozen or so Apache choppers (just to keep the fucking Arabs honest).  Then again:

...wonder why that is?
#NoMoreDEI #Warfighting

Some

...equipped with helipads?  No?  Pppppbbbbbtttt.

...amazing how the threat of using the National Guard spurs these IllyNazis to do their actual job.
#IllinoisStateCopsAreAssholes #AskMeHowIKnowThis

...quite the little over-achiever, ain’t he?  Let’s hope that Texas acts appropriately.

From the Dept. Of Government Shutdowns:

…

In Legal News:

...this has nothing to do with their having broken actual laws (unlike Trump).
#YouStartedTheLawfare #EnjoyTheRebound

In International News:

...you wanted it, you got it.  Enjoy the consequences.  But then, to show how it’s done:

…ipse dixit.

...I’m not against the principle, but I am interested to see how they plan to implement it.

...ahhh Giorgia Meloni...

...coming soon to a California near you.

In !Science! News:

...because we enjoy the way it makes us feel?  See, and I didn’t even need a grant to tell you that.

And speaking of

 

 

And from the houses on :

...and MILFy she most certainly is:

 

And you’re gonna need a couple, after reading this lot.

Taylor Swift says it’s ‘shockingly offensive’ to claim this is her last album
...what’s really offensive is the thought that we’re going to have to endure still more of her assembly-line “music” for the next who-knows-how-long.

Next, some Backlash News:

...should have been fired for academic fraud long ago, but I’ll take what I can get.

...at least she wasn’t bonking a 14-year-old.  One hopes.

And in

 




...keep on truckin’, boys:  i.e. throw ’em out by the truckload.  Or something.

In International News:

...sounds about right.  And speaking of Jew-killers:

...like anyone cares.

From the Darwin Report:

...let’s just hope that her kids’ father(s) might have passed on a bigger helping of brains to them.

From Teh Meejah:

PIERS MORGAN: JK Rowling once called me an amoral celebrity toady
...truth hurts, dunnit?

And now it’s that time: 

...when a porno movie does halftime… oh wait, that’s BROWN Bunny.  My bad.
Oh, and Mr. Bunny:  I’m not going to learn Spanish just to try to understand your poxy lyrics.

And in our journey along :

...yes, I’m afraid it’s that time again.  Sorry.

After that, the news is kinda lame.