“Dear Dr. Kim,
“Some months ago I met a man at a work function — a cocktail party for clients and some of their suppliers. “David” was very handsome, witty, successful and a sly way of flirting that I found irresistible. He was also married, something I discovered during our first date, a quick meal at a local sandwich shop.
“Anyway, I was completely captivated by him and we began an affair that lasted for three months. I have to admit that while the first couple of bedroom sessions were purely lustful, I began to develop a romantic attachment to him, and he to me, and from steamy sex we progressed to lovemaking.
“Then after one such delightful occasion after a lunch date, David mentioned that his wife had a strong sex drive, and in fact he’d had sex with her that very same morning before meeting me.
“I felt betrayed, even though I was well aware that he was betraying his wife by having an affair with me. But what was I to do? I could hardly demand that he stop having sex with her, could I? Still, I was — I admit, unreasonably — very jealous, and the thought of him having sex with her really hurt me deeply.
“So I ended the affair, but after two long years, I still haven’t been able to get him out of my mind.
“Dr. Kim, what advice do you have for me?”
— Jealous Girlfriend, Omaha.
Dear Jealous,
I’m sorry it’s taken so long to reply to you, but every time I try to think of some worthwhile advice, I can’t help bursting into uncontrollable laughter. So let me just give you my opinion: you are a selfish, stupid woman who deserves everything that has happened to you.
You were prepared to wreck a marriage — the lives of two other people — and when that didn’t work out, you felt betrayed and hurt. In life, that’s called tough shit, and its taste isn’t pleasant at all, especially when you brought it all on yourself.
I suspect that your reason for writing to me was a search for sympathy, but when I looked in my Sympathy Cupboard, I couldn’t find any.
May you live a long and unhappy life: it’s what you deserve.
— 
Note: Dr. Kim is not a licensed physician or even, gawd forbid, a psychologist, so any advice he gives should not be followed without the simultaneous ingestion of huge quantities of salt.