...are any of those one hundred planned for the Dallas / N.Texas area? No? Well then, screw you, Greggs.
...just doing what he used to do back home. Respect his cultural heritage, you rayyyycisss.
...I’ve heard of some strange sex fantasies, but this one’s a goodie.
...wait: Fatboi did something right for a change? (Blind pigs, truffles etc., which seems kind of appropriate here.)
...and I’m not going to get a refund on all that popcorn I bought, either.
...it’s called “delayed gratification”, you greedy little shits. Deal.
...on the bright side, it’s Donna Mills and not Nancy Pelosi.
...those lobster-wannabes: I’ve warned you about them before.
...and to escape his humiliation, he goes home and hops into bed with this every night:
The poor man; how he must suffer.
That’s it for the news, such as it is.
Not since Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has a couple been so far out on the hot-crazy graph.