I’m sometimes asked the best way to hunt dangerous game — specifically in Africa, where there are lots of things with teeth and claws and such, waiting for an opportunity to turn the next easy target into dinner.
Let me be perfectly clear about this: human beings are the ultimate prey for hunters like lions. We can’t run very fast nor very far, we have no sense of smell compared to, say, lions or leopards let alone antelopes, we don’t have sharp horns or hooves to protect ourselves or cause some kind of defensive injury to a predator, and we sure as hell can’t swim like a damn crocodile.
We are, in the animal kingdom, like marshmallows. Pork-flavored marshmallows, to be precise, just the thing to make lions sharpen their claws before putting on a dinner napkin.
So why do these dangerous animals think that we are the apex predators?
Because we don’t fight fair. As though fighting for one’s life, or hunting down food requires us to be all Marquis-of-Queensbury types; what foolishness.
Fuck that. If a pride of lions wants to target a few humans for brekkie, well… say hello to an A-10 Warthog or an Apache attack helicopter, and let’s see who’s really the apex predator, Fluffy.
The only reasons we don’t use our peak powers to hunt game are because the stupid government won’t let us, the weapons are a little on the pricey side (if you think .50 Browning ammo is spendy, try a depleted-uranium 20mm boolet). And lastly, we don’t use all that cool wizardry because it kind of messes up the trophy hides and meat somewhat. (Not much market for half-inch-sized hides and bloody slurry instead of steaks.)
So we’re stuck with rifles like this rather pretty Chapuis Elan Classique double rifle, in .470 Nitro Express:
For those unfamiliar with this beast of a cartridge, here’s a comparison to the 8x57mm Mauser (itself no slouch in the “killin’ things” business):
And speaking of hammer blows:
Of course, if you know what you’re doing, you’ll only need one or two blows to your wallet for that Cape buff or 600-lb Kalahari lion.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, refer to my “pork-flavored marshmallow” description above.