This sad tale is quite thought-provoking:
Internet stars Jesse Ridgway, 33, and Ashley Ridgway, 31, announced that they had made the ‘difficult decision’ to terminate their pregnancy earlier this week, two months after learning their unborn child had Down syndrome.
“As for us, we made a difficult decision that we believe in the long-run will be beneficial for our family,” Jesse wrote in a series of Instagram Story. “Thankfully, we had a choice. “It will take a little time to move on, but we are excited to try again in the future and hopefully have a better outcome,” he added.
Just a week earlier, the pair had shared a YouTube video showing the results of an amniocentesis test, which screens for birth defects and chromosomal conditions. In the clip, the couple sat on the floor and viewed the test results in real time, which revealed markers consistent with Trisomy 21, medically known as Down syndrome.
Ashley broke into tears as Jesse explained that the couple had previously discussed terminating the pregnancy if faced with such a scenario, a decision they later confirmed on Wednesday.
Jesse, posted a series of emotional Instagram stories saying the couple had decided to have an abortion, describing the decision as “not made lightly” and “extremely traumatic.”
I’ll say it is. I can’t actually think of anything more gut-wrenching than this one, but when all is said and done, given what they were going to face, I can’t say I disagree with what they did.
And before I start getting screamed at, I note the many similarities between this decision and the decision to turn off life support for a terminally-ill relative — the latter of which does not seem to engender much of a response from the All Life Is Precious Brigade.
Remember too that I am a bitter foe of abortion-on-demand, except in cases like this.
I once knew a guy — back in South Africa, where abortion was very much illegal — whose wife had had a Downs Syndrome baby. The poor little tyke lived until age 10, and then died from the usual issues associated with this unhappy circumstance. Several years later, I asked him about his feelings on the topic, and his response was blunt and to the point.
“It was hell,” he stated bluntly. “Absolute bloody hell: for my wife, for me, and for little Eric. Ten years of exhausting hell. As much as we tried to put a cheerful face on it, I think my wife cried herself to sleep every night for five years. And when Eric finally went into the hospital for the last time — we knew his condition was terminal — we crucified ourselves with our guilt because we were feeling nothing but relief that his, hers and my hell were finally coming to an end.”
Of course, in the case of our unhappy couple in New Jersey, there have been the usual issues from the lunatics:
The news immediately triggered a wave of online backlash. A day later, the pair revealed that their inboxes were being flooded with ‘hate and vitriol’ over their ‘impossible decision.’
Jesse, known online as McJuggerNuggets, said that since sharing their abortion, they have been exposed to a “deeply disturbing” side of humanity. One comment left under their YouTube video read: “Genuinely the most dystopian and disturbing video I’ve seen on YouTube. Truly evil. Four months.” Another said, “Hitler thought those with disabilities didn’t deserve to live either!!! You should be sterilized.”
All those comments, of course, are coming from people who’ve never had to face anything like the choice — if it can be called that — that these poor kids have had to deal with.
If I can fault the Ridgways with anything, it’s for putting the whole ghastly episode on the Internet. Had they just had the thing done, then put up a brief, sorrowful post that they had lost the unborn baby, nobody would have been any the wiser and everyone could just have carried on.
But this unhealthy urge to share with strangers the most intimate details of one’s life is total poison — as Jesse and Ashley Ridgway have discovered. I only hope that he never has to use the gun he keeps next to his bed, because that would just add to the tragedy; although getting rid of some screeching fanatic would not be that bad an outcome, because they live in Noo Joizee the consequences of ending that asshole’s life would be more punitive than ending the life of their unborn, unhealthy baby.
There are no winners in this horrible story, and the maniacs who insist on piling on are just adding to the tragedy.
Kim, as the old beer commercial went, “I love you man”. I have been reading you for years agreeing with you, being educated by you. But this, I am in total disagreement. Is this really different than ancient societies inspecting newborns and throwing those off a cliff if deficient by their standards? Can you explain the moral difference? Can you say where the quest for perfection will end? Also, I have met families with down syndrome children. The children are happy, and an example of loving in ways we all should be. They have value, like all children. If one is going to be that selfish and uncaring, don’t conceive!
“Is this really different than ancient societies inspecting newborns and throwing those off a cliff if deficient by their standards? Can you explain the moral difference?”
I can’t. It’s all barbaric. The problem is that in ancient times, a “deficient” child was seen as a burden on the family — and the tribe — and could in fact be a dangerous liability. Remember too that back then it was all about protecting the “bloodline” — just as Hitler suggested — so any aberrant children were seen as dangerous to that, too.
That’s not the case anymore. What hasn’t changed is that while the “danger” to society and “bloodline” is no longer an issue, there is a real problem with the family. There are numerous case studies where “normal” children felt neglected by their parents because the parents were too busy devoting most of their time to looking after the Down baby.
Looking after a profoundly-disabled child is not some game; for some people it’s too much, and having seen some of this, I can’t fault them too much.
Like I said, it’s a horrible situation, and I even hesitated to talk about it today because I know how raw people’s emotions can be when addressing the topic.
But there it is.
The problem that a lot of people do not realize is that Down is a spectrum.
The child can be happy and near-normal.
The child can be profoundly retarded.
I have met three Down people – one in his 30’s was a grocery bagger, married to a Down woman and very happy.
One was in her teens – the daughter of a friend. Very happy but dependent on the friends family for support.
One was also in her teens – an emotional cripple. The parents were loving and supportive but she was scared of everything. The parents had to give up their lives to care for her. Their lives were monopolized.
Amniocentesis is just a go/no-go test. It doesn’t tell where the fetus is on the spectrum.
I would agree with abortion in this case.