At least the Japs are being honest about it:
A Tokyo chain pub has set a ban on older customers – in order to try to maintain the raucous, fun atmosphere for which it is known. Tori Yaro Dogenzaka is an izakaya (an affordable Japanese pub) situated in Japan‘s capital city.
This year, the establishment propped up a sign outside the entrance, informing customers of the new rules. The sign said: ‘Entrance limited to customers between the ages of 29 and 39. This is an izakaya for younger generations. Pub for under 40s only.’
I have no idea what constitutes the Japanese drinking demographic, but it must be different from us gaijin because Over Here (and in the rest of the West) we know that Prime Drunk Age is between 16 and 28. So if the Japs are anything like that, a “29-39” pub is not going to be a “raucous and fun” atmosphere; it will be quiet and gloomy, with patrons drinking maybe a couple pints before leaving. (I imagine the soaring price of booze in the Land Of The Rising Sun is if anything higher than it is in Western Civ, which defies comprehension.)
Can’t see a decent profit margin there, but whatever.
What I’d like to see is a bar exclusively for the 65+ age group, selling booze at prices that don’t insult us and are closer to what we used to pay back when we were in our Prime Drunk Age. Make the place’s decor cozy and welcoming, play background music worth listening to (and not played at tinnitus-causing levels so we could, you know, converse without shouting), set up some chess- and backgammon boards, offer darts and dominoes, and provide affordable Uber rides home so the fuzz don’t get all excited when the elderly patrons come staggering out into the street.
At closing time, you’d have to drive me out at gunpoint.
I know, the accountants are going to tell me that such an establishment would be completely “unsustainable” or some such bollocks, but considering how today’s businesses have no problem with wasting jillions of bucks on specious bullshit (e.g. electric fucking cars and Pride Month parade sponsorships), I think that “Ye Olde Pharrttes Arms” concept is worth trying.
Oh, and one absolute and unbreakable stipulation: NO LIVE MUSIC.
Lose all the TV’s.
Or at least put (silent) Nature documentary’s on them.
Nothing but classic rock, playing at a low level so comfortable conversation could occur.
Decent artwork on the walls and ceiling.
Traditional design through out.
Hear hear! They’d get so much of my business they wouldn’t know what to do with all their money.
I’d only make one addition to your requirements list: no more than 2 IPAs per dozen beers on the menu. Oh, and there should be a provision for under-65 guests who are vouched for by an actual old fart so I can have my sons join me.
I never got much into the bar/pub scene as a younker. I miss the good hometown coffee shop/diner places where all the old timers gathered in the morning to tell lies and drink $0.10 cups of coffee.
Kim, you sort of had me until the last line. Absolutely WANT – DEMAND – LIVE MUSIC.
I don’t care if they’re good or bad. I don’t care if they do covers or originals; I’d prefer some of both. But I want a place where musicians can play and learn their chops. Bring on the live music.
Unfortunately, it’s a dying thing. YOU, of all people, should know better; you (and I) had the luxury of being able to step in front of a crowd and learn to play. To learn what worked, and what didn’t. To learn how to play off the others in the band, and to become a whole that, if it worked, was greater than the sum of its parts. When it all clicked, there was no better drug in the world than a song, a sound, a harmony and background that all comes together in front of an audience. Those moments were not all that often, but they were gold when they happened.
The loss of live music is in part why so much of current music sucks so bad.
The problem is not the music, but the volume. You see, back in the day, a pianist playing an old upright piano was the bee’s knees: you could listen to him, or not, but there was always room for conversation in the audiosphere.
You could even have an acoustic guitar player, un-miked (although that could lead to folk music… ugh).
Nowadays? 2,000-watt PA systems, microphones, blaring vocals, horrible songs… nope. Soft background taped music: classic hits, old standards, Diana Krall-type torch singers, any of those would be just fine.
You want live music, go to a club or similar dance venue. It’s just gotten too loud.
+1000 to this comment.
I went into a brewpub in Bend OR and they had a wonderful bluegrass band playing, the music was decent, the decibel level was tasteful.
Then we went to another place in another town and the goddamn noise was so loud you literally had to shout to make yourself heard, as for having a pleasant conversation, fuggettabouttit.
I’m getting afflicted with the same thing my Dad had with his hearing. Its not hearing-aid bad per se, but if I get into a room with a lot of background noise be it conversation, music, whatever, I cannot for the life of me understand anything the person 2′ away from me is saying. Its maddening and frankly I’d just prefer to stay home.
take my money. I’d love to find a local bar like that with a dart board. I threw darts in college regularly and enjoyed it. Give me some good pub grub with occasional specials to change things up.
There is a local restaurant that my wife and I would go to often. When they put up signs with live music on Friday or Thursday evenings, we’d make sure to not go there. Often times the music is too loud.
I would like one or two televisions for some sporting events from time to time.
The best bar I have ever gone to is in Maam Cross in Galway, Ireland. The building had two doors. The one on the right lead to the lounge in the back and the door on the left lead to the pub on the right. Both areas were served by the same central bar area. The split gave you two different atmospheres. The lounge was closer to a living room atmosphere while the pub side was , well a pub.
The only way I see this working is as a money laundering operation.
Operate it as a cash-only business, get a drug kingpin to fund it, and launder the drug profits through the bar.
As I’ve gotten older, I miss live music. But the closest places are too far away, and the bands don’t start until 9 o’clock or later.
The only way I see this working is as a money laundering operation. Operate it as a cash-only business, get a drug kingpin to fund it, and launder the drug profits through the bar.
Loath as I am to encourage lawbreaking, I think you may be onto something there.
You’ve got my business. Provide good beer and whiskey to your customers. I’m not much of a beer drinker these days but I’d enjoy the company of people of quality who like a fine drink. Hang two or three trophy deer heads on the wall, add a couple of old Damascus barrel side by side shotguns and maybe an antique fly rod. Paintings or drawings of WW2 era warbirds or ships would be welcome.
How about a couple of cribbage boards? I spent four years in the surface navy and never learned the game. My wife’s first husband was a submarine guy and she’s now teaching me how to play.
These days I tell people that I’m too old to fight and too fat to run so you’d get no trouble from me. Just some stories – some of which may be true – and the appreciation of guy who enjoys good friends and sometimes a good drink.
Prices we’re used to paying
In my prime drinking years — late 20s early 30s — at the bar next door to the shop the prices were: draft beer, 50 cents per glass, schnapps 75 cents per shot. So you could get a pretty good buzz on for $2.50.
Even then, prices at the college bars uptown were running $5 a glass for draft and about that for a shot of any kind of well booze.
Probably need to open as a social club with membership.
Then you could restrict who came in as members or guests.
Additional rule: All phones on silent and no phone conversations with in the club. Take it outside if you want to talk.
A local American Legion Post would clearly fit your bill.
Fully concur.
Stasiu’s bar in Nordeast Minneapolis used to have an over 35 club upstairs. This was when us baby boomers were the under 35s. It may have still been in operation when I turned 35, but by then I was married, had a family, and wasn’t going to bars much. At the time this was the Polish/Ukrainian neighborhood. Ownership has changed since Stasiu died and it is now called Stanley’s, but the over 35 club is only a memory.
Sounds good but perhaps we could put minimum age for the ladies at 60+
Damn, I like that idea, and I’m not even a bar/pub kind of guy. Someone build it and I’ll be along in about a year and a half, when I’m finally old enough.