News Roundup

Now it’s time for Teh Doom, so

...except the “speeding up” is measured in milliseconds, and also slowing down occasionally by the same rate because that’s how the world turns.

...note weasel word “could”, which is interchangeable with “might not”.

In Foreign News:

...heterosexual porn is unaffected, however, so there’s that.

And speaking of Loathsome Terrorist Assholes:

…

Some Worthless Political Opinions:

...given the source, it’s probably neither colossal nor a mistake.

…

...Steroidal Deportation Machine activated, and it’s about damn time.

In Crime News:

...guess it was just stolen off AG Bondi’s desk, then, because that’s where she said it was.

#FuckingLiars #CoverUp

And now it’s time for 

And on the byway known as :

…never mind MILF, she’s almost GILF:

Not that a GILF is a Bad Thing, of course.