I was speeding over to your house. Your wife texted me and said she’s available now. She says hi by the way.
“Step out of the car.”
“Nah, I’m too drunk. You get in.”
No, officer. I don’t have any doughnuts.
“You didn’t pull me over. I just pulled over to take a nap and sleep off all that the booze.”
No for two reasons, I’d need to be a mind reader, and you can’t read a blank book.
Mark D
“What’s it to you, asshole?”
.
Why, don’t you?
“I really don’t, officer. Um, is there blood oozing from my trunk?…”
Was it the voices in your head? (Looks closely) Yeah. It was the voices. Again.
Depends, how long have you been following me?
“My wife ran off with a state trooper, I was afraid you were trying to return her.”
Well, officer, if you don’t know then I’m not telling you.
I’ll paraphrase Drew Carey’s joke:
“I’ve always wanted to see a cop standing out in the pouring rain.”
“Damn it. Is there blood leaking out of the trunk?”
You were playing with the cool flashing lights and sirens and forgot the reason, didn’t you? Well if you can’t remember, I’m not gonna help you.
LEO: “You drinkin’?”
ME: “You buyin’?”
We laughed and laughed . . . Now I need bail money.
No, that’s your job.
Officer – Sir, have you been drinking ?
Driver – Yes
Officer – Sir, would you step out of the vehicle please.
Drive – Why ? Don’t you believe ? !!
Why did you pull me over? Because your Sgt is suspecting you of sleeping on shift and you have to gin up some phony citations to keep him off of your ass. A stat is a stat.
Did you radio in my plate yet?
Because you’re horny?
Yeah, you need me to show you how to get Netflix working on your computer again, don’t you?
I was speeding over to your house. Your wife texted me and said she’s available now. She says hi by the way.
“Step out of the car.”
“Nah, I’m too drunk. You get in.”
No, officer. I don’t have any doughnuts.
“You didn’t pull me over. I just pulled over to take a nap and sleep off all that the booze.”
No for two reasons, I’d need to be a mind reader, and you can’t read a blank book.
Mark D
“What’s it to you, asshole?”
.
Why, don’t you?
“I really don’t, officer. Um, is there blood oozing from my trunk?…”
Was it the voices in your head? (Looks closely) Yeah. It was the voices. Again.
Depends, how long have you been following me?
“My wife ran off with a state trooper, I was afraid you were trying to return her.”
Well, officer, if you don’t know then I’m not telling you.
I’ll paraphrase Drew Carey’s joke:
“I’ve always wanted to see a cop standing out in the pouring rain.”
“Damn it. Is there blood leaking out of the trunk?”
You were playing with the cool flashing lights and sirens and forgot the reason, didn’t you? Well if you can’t remember, I’m not gonna help you.
LEO: “You drinkin’?”
ME: “You buyin’?”
We laughed and laughed . . . Now I need bail money.
No, that’s your job.
Officer – Sir, have you been drinking ?
Driver – Yes
Officer – Sir, would you step out of the vehicle please.
Drive – Why ? Don’t you believe ? !!
Why did you pull me over? Because your Sgt is suspecting you of sleeping on shift and you have to gin up some phony citations to keep him off of your ass. A stat is a stat.
Did you radio in my plate yet?
Because you’re horny?
Yeah, you need me to show you how to get Netflix working on your computer again, don’t you?