The Most Eeeeevil Gun In Britain

British police have disclosed the type of handgun most often used in criminal activity in the U.K. It is the sinister-looking Beretta 9000S:

Loyal Readers will know, of course, that this is doubleplusunpossible, because handguns are banned from private ownership in Britishland, and therefore this report cannot be true.

“Up to 19 shootings” in the past year — or, as they say in Chicago (where handguns are almost as much controlled as in Britain), “the average Friday night”.


  1. Armed Police, rather than the general run of the mill police. I would question Scotland yard a bit as how can you get the dna for four people from the safety catch?

    If I read this correctly, they are trying to say this one gun was used by four people in the coming of 19 crimes where they recovered a fired bullet that the could then match to this gun?

    Not sure which of the statistics flags by bs meter the highest. And the youth in possession of the gun had been charge 15 previous times with crimes that could have involved incarceration?

    this story absolutely reeks.

  2. Maybe it’s just me, but …

    … was anyone else’s first thought on seeing that gun: “Aww, isn’t it cute?”

    1. Didn’t they stop producing them a decade ago and replaced them with several much better models? (PX-4 subcompact and Nano)

  3. The back sight is missing so I guess one wold have to be rather close for an effective shot unless the gun is held sideways like in the movies when bad guys shoot. I am also suspicious about the DNA on the safety however there could be some people stuff on the slide, especially if it cuts the web of the hand if the gun was not held properly.

    From the looks of the gun holder it appears he should have already been locked up just for looking dastardly like a dastard.

  4. I have a soft spot for Berettas because when I was a kid my dad bought my mother a Beretta automatic in .22lr very much like one of these.

    It was for self protection when we traveled to that evil and dangerous place called California. My Dad took his Walther P.38.

    In 1959 crossing the border from Canada to the USA, and back, with two pistols was a nothing.

    And the old boy was right about California if maybe a few years ahead of the curve.

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