Speed Bump #922

When did the noun “gift” become a verb?  “I gifted her a birthday present” sounds retarded, not to say redundant or even worse, pretentious.

It’s even made even worse by adding the superfluous preposition “with”.  “I gifted her with a birthday present” sounds so stupidly convoluted and verbose, it could be Jesse Jackson speaking.

There’s a perfectly good word to describe the act of giving:  it’s called “giving”.  By definition, when one gives something to someone, it’s a fucking gift.

I know that I am somewhat guilty of turning a noun into a verb is that I call this same foul trend “verbing” — but of course I’m being ironic by turning the concept against itself.

Don’t get me started.  Every time someone spouts that nonsense, I want to gift them with a kick in the groin.

News Roundup

Today we feature the “All Sex, All The Time“-type roundup, with commentary shorter than Jerrold Nadler’s dick.  [sorry]


ummm Wayne, dude:  there’s this thing called a “vasectomy”


and given that he’s not rich, I think the newspaper owes us a tasteful pic of his erect phallus, so we can see just what this guy’s appeal is.


and you were slut-shamed because you were a choirgirl, right?


“sparent”?  What’s that, Lassie?  Hoofbeats?


given that her pool of likely suitors will come entirely from fanbois inside NASCAR Nation, I’d say her prospects are even slimmer than she thinks.


and when you’ve lost gayboi Graham Norton


not to mention a distinct shortage of willing penises.


if she’s going to get all her lovers’ faces tattooed there, she’s going to need ElastaGirl arms.


the main question being:  did we really need to know this about the late?

And finally:


hate to break it to you darlin’, but nobody cares why.  Here’s the proof:

Much better than Gwinnie’s bony ass.

Work Stoppage

Never having used  any of the software products mentioned in this article, I have no dog in this fight.

TechCrunch reports that Microsoft has begun investigating an authentication outage that looked Office 365 users out of the platform preventing them from accessing Microsoft products such as Office, Outlook, and Teams.
Microsoft’s status dashboard stated that the issue started at 2:25 p.m. PT on Monday and impacted users across the globe for hours. Microsoft stated that some government users may be impacted by the issue, which may have impacted 911 communications in 14 states. The company stated in a series of tweets that it attempted to fix the issue but was forced to roll back its changes after the fix failed.

Yeah, let’s hear it for the Internet Of Things and Skynet, shall we?

My favorite part, though, is that elsewhere, Microsoft has steadfastly denied that the problem stemmed from a security breach / hack attack.

Which leaves… incompetence.

But you guys already knew that about MS.

Hoarders

I always laugh at the reaction from the general public to people who as children read the fable of “The Ant And The Grasshopper” and took its lesson to heart.

Most  visitors to this back porch, I suspect, keep a reasonable quantity of supplies (food, water, ammo, whatever) handy, especially after the Great Chinkvirus Lockdown and its concomitant emptying of the store shelves by Stupid People who don’t.

What’s worse is that these ignorant assholes persist in excoriating people like us with labels of “selfish”, “hoarders” and worse, even after our recent experienceHere’s one example (I know, it’s formerly-Great Britain, but I know there are people just like that Over Here too):

A MUM-of-two has been slammed as ‘selfish’ after revealing she’s stockpiled enough food to last her and her family until January.
Emma Tarry, 26, appeared on This Morning surrounded by her mountains of groceries, as she revealed her fridge, freezer and cupboards were full of food.
Emma, a mum-of-two from Lancaster, was branded ‘selfish and stupid’ by viewers, as Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield grilled her over her shopping.
The mum revealed she’s hoarded around 400 tins and 700 nappies, and stocked up on essentials like flour to make bread.
She defended her decision, saying: “I think it’s best we go to shops and supermarkets as little as possible. I think stockpiling done properly and don’t go too excessive is ok… if you prepare months in advance or buy it off Amazon.”

Nothing this woman said strikes me as particularly incorrect or, gawd forbid, offensive.  And the quantity of food she’s stored for a family of (at least) three people doesn’t seem that excessive.  (Break it down:  400 tins for six months for three people is just over one tin per day, per person.  She probably needs another 200, just to be on the safe side.)

Emma said one of her children has special needs, and she wants the peace of mind knowing she has access to food and medicine. She said: “If my child needs Calpol… that way at least I’m organised — I just want to make sure myself and my kid is organised.”
And she also pointed out she’s been able to help out family and friends with her food stash, and hasn’t kept it all for herself.

Predictably, the Stupid & Envious Set chimed in:

But viewers were outraged by Emma’s overflowing kitchen, claiming stockpilers like her are the reason behind national shortages.
Taking to Twitter, one person wrote: “This makes me so angry, many people can’t afford that much shopping let alone hoard it. I hope this woman has given some to the food bank. We all need to get on with life, hiding away in doors & hoarding is not the answer.”

So because not everyone can afford to do it means that nobody should do it.  Socialism in a nutshell:  make everybody equally miserable.

Another tweeted: “That stupid… stockpiling food is all that’s wrong with this greedy selfish world we live in…”
A third wrote: “Not sure why #ThisMorning have got this girl on today. Worried food is going to be rationed, only putting more fear into others and potentially making the panic buying issue worse! People should have learnt from the last lockdown and stop being so selfish.”
While this person said: “Absolutely ridiculous. She just can’t see that she’s part of the problem. Her actions end up having a knock on effect. How many others are behaving the same as her though? This is why our local shops have no loo roll again now!”

Yeah;  looking after yourself and your infant children is “selfish”.  Someone needs a good ball-kicking, and it ain’t our Emma.

What made me decide to talk about this women, though, is the extra step she’s taken:

Emma previously revealed she’d bought a BB gun to protect her stash, in case anyone tried to steal her mountains of food. She said: “I researched how to legally buy a BB gun or air rifle and bought one from a local gun shop. I’ve previously had shooting lessons on a local gun range, it’s legal and stored correctly and it gives me peace of mind.
“Three weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night and heard someone trying to break into my garden shed. “I stayed upstairs and pointed the BB gun out the window and told the man to ‘eat the dirt’.”

Of course, to the rest of us, what she did is not only laudable, but just plain common sense.  (The fact that she’s limited to a damn BB gun instead of a proper 12-gauge… see “formerly-Great Britain”, above.)  And this post is useless with at least one pic:

Clearly, her shooting lessons didn’t include a section on trigger discipline, but under the circumstances, I think we can excuse her.

Well done, Emma.  Ignore those assholes (arseholes) who are carping at your excellent state of preparedness.  And if any of them come sniffing around your house in times of great shortage… all I can say is:  have a goodly supply of BBs, and practice fast reloading.

Not one person at this website thinks you’re selfish, or any of that jive.  You’re prudent and taking care of yourself, not relying on “the government” to do so.  Only in a socialist country could this be a cause for anger.

Straws

You know, whenever we see reports of people going nuts and gunning down government officials (not cops or state troopers, just ordinary workers), we are justifiably appalled.

Should we be?  Try looking at these two little examples of governmental overreach.  In Connecticut:

A Connecticut selectwoman alleged on Facebook that she and her husband are facing a fine of $1,000 for violating the state’s coronavirus travel restrictions. Amy St. Onge (R), first selectwoman of Thompson, posted to Facebook that, on Labor Day, she and her husband Jason left home to visit their son Caleb, who is training at the Air Force base in Altus, Oklahoma, and preparing for his first deployment.
Upon the parents’ return, St. Onge said she received an email from the State of Connecticut informing her that she and her husband had violated Gov. Ned Lamont’s executive orders regarding travel during the coronavirus pandemic.

Here’s the thing:  somebody in government was either monitoring their Faecesbook account, or else responded to a fink’s complaint.  Either way, the response was uncalled-for and excessive.  (Connecticut is facing a massive budget surplus.  Just sayin’.)

Now Maryland:

Shawn Marshall Myers from Maryland threw two parties at his own home that violated the governor’s social distancing executive order and now he’s going to spend a full year behind bars.
They were at his own home and they were outdoor bonfire parties.
He threw one and the cops showed up and convinced him to break it up. He threw another less than a week later and he refused to tell his guests to leave when the cops arrived and told him to do so. He said he had the right to have a party at his house and told his guests not to leave.
And now he’s going to prison for a year.

Note, in the latter case, the following:

“He was given a warning,” Charles County State’s Attorney Tony Covington said. “It’s not like the police just swooped in there and said you’re going to jail. They gave him a warning.”

Yeah, that makes it all hunky-dory, of course.  You fucking little totalitarian cocksucker.

 

Black Lists Matter

Boycotting things and businesses has traditionally been a tool of the Left — flood a TV show’s advertiser with calls, threatening to boycott the company’s products unless they stop supporting [Tucker Carlson], etc.

We on the conservative side have had a few ourselves — anyone remember the anger when gun writer Dave Petzal  Jim Zumbo (sorry, Dave)  said that nobody needed an AR-15?  or the boycott of Smith & Wesson when the hapless gunmaker made a deal with the Clinton junta?  We will not even speak of Dick’s Sporting Goods, etc.

I myself have a list of businesses and brands that I will never consider, mostly because of their anti-gun positions:

  • Levi Strauss
  • Leatherman
  • REI
  • Patagonia
  • Starbucks
  • California Pizza Kitchen
  • AARP
  • Dick’s
  • Ben & Jerry
  • Doordash
  • GrubHub
  • Hallmark
  • Jack In The Box
  • Domino’s, Pizza Hut and Walgreens (they fire employees who protect themselves with guns)
  • Sara Lee
  • Costco
  • Panera
  • Waffle House
  • Target
  • Whole Foods

There are some companies that I “semi-boycott”, e.g.:

  • CitiBank:  I have a Citi Visa because I get airline miles from using it — but I only use it to make firearms-related purchases.  And if they stop accepting custom from the places which sell me those products, I’ll pay it off and cut it up.  I sent their marketing department a letter to that effect a couple years back.
  • Target:  I buy two products (and only two) from Target, simply because it’s the only place in Plano that carries them.
  • Waffle House:  I used to go to Waffle House weekly.  Now I only go there when I’m on the road, absolutely starving and there’s nowhere else to go.  (Maybe twice in the past three years.)

Some of the companies are easy to boycott, because I dislike their products, period (e.g. Starbucks, whom I treat like a public toilet facility, but never buy anything from), or I prefer the alternative anyway (Swiss Army knives over Leatherman, etc.).

Also, while a number of companies have official “don’t bring your gun in here” policies, the local branches (especially in Texas) adopt a “you must be kidding” attitude instead.  (Our local Kroger hadn’t even heard about Kroger’s policy when I asked the manager about it, and he just said, “Don’t worry about it.  I’m not about to risk losing half my business because of Corporate.”)

Anyway, that’s my blacklist.  Feel free to add your own, in Comments.