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Conflicted

Good Stuff, Guy Stuff

I have to say that I’m on the side of the dad in this one:

Father, 41, ran over two 15-year-old boys who were ‘bullying his son’ before repeatedly driving over one of the boy’s legs

Here’s the thing:  as a parent, you’re often helpless when your child is being bullied — the “authorities” (school admin, police, whatever) are frequently helpless or indifferent to what’s happening to your child, of course you’re not allowed to confront the evil little shits responsible, and I’m all too familiar with that feeling of impotent rage that builds and builds when you’re rendered incapable of protecting your children.

So as I said, I’m already empathetic about this dad fucking up the bullies.  But what pushes me all the way over to a “Well done!” attitude is this:

The enraged father-of-three had hunted the pair down after his porch window was smashed by one of their group and they fled the scene.  After the group vandalised the family home that night, Connolly’s son chased after them and Connolly got into his car to look for him.

And finally, there’s this:

One of the boys was treated for fractures to his foot with metal plates inserted and skin taken from his thigh.  ‘There will be permanent scarring to the foot and the thigh as a result of the surgical procedure.  He was not able to bear weight on his foot for six weeks and will have permanently reduced mobility.’

Good.  The feral little fuck deserves to be reminded, daily, of why people shouldn’t be assholes — my only quibble is that every one of the group of bullies won’t suffer the same fate, because they should.

Our Hero Dad was originally charged with attempted murder (!!) but common sense prevailed and he’ll only be charged with assault etc.  Still, he’s facing some serious consequences.

I’d like to say that I wouldn’t have done what he did, but I’m not so sure.  Protecting your family and property is so deeply embedded in the male psyche — despite all efforts of Modern Woke Society to eradicate it — that sometimes we men have no choice in the matter.  Deplore it all you want, it’s an inescapable fact.

Bureaucrats And Politicians

Bureaucracy, Government Thugs

I see that The Greatest Living Englishman will be back for a third season of Clarkson’s Farm, and I couldn’t be happier.

Having just binge-watched Season Two (on Amazon Prime), however, I must say that I now understand why Brits aren’t allowed to own AK-47s — because after watching the show-behind-the-show (Jeremy’s clashes with Parliament, the West Oxfordshire Council, and the local village council) which explains in excruciating detail how Britain’s farmers are being fucked six ways to Sunday by all the above, all I wanted to do was reach for mine and do a little hunting.

And not badgers, although they too need to be exterminated.  Badgers spread bovine TB, but they’re protected ergo you can’t kill them, so if you’re a cattle farmer, you are essentially powerless and you’re going to go out of business.

Time after time, Jeremy’s attempts to make his farm at least marginally profitable are thwarted by bureaucracy — good grief, just his struggle to “register” newborn calves with their unique ID codes (quoi?) had me climbing out of my seat in frustration.  But then there’s this:

Council:  All the farm store’s customers’ cars are parking on the roadside verges and causing traffic problems.
Clarkson:  Can I put in a gravel parking lot on my own land to accommodate them and end the problem?
Council:  No.

And then:

Clarkson:  Can I build a small restaurant (using an existing building) that will provide jobs for locals and help the local farmers, all of whom are going to go bankrupt because of government-created problems?
Council:  No.
Clarkson:  Why not?
Council:  Because you don’t have a parking lot to hold the customers’ cars.

If you haven’t watched the series yet, you should — if not at home (because you don’t have Doubleplusgood-Bezos), then at a friend’s- or family member’s house.  Apart from the frustrated hatred the show engenders, it’s also wonderfully funny, in a way that only Clarkson can create.

Just lock the guns away first, or a new TV might be in your future.

Scrabbling Through The Rubble

Heroism

…or, not all heroes are gunfighters.

I thought I’d share a few WhatsApp exchanges with y’all.  This is about SARZA, which is a privately-funded search & rescue organization based in South Africa (!), and which sent a team to help out in Turkey.  Here’s a first-hand account from one of the SARZA team:


A little background:
“Mark” is a skinny kid of about 23.  He’s also one of the top S&R operators in South Africa — hence his selection to join the SARZA team — and has been involved in countless life-and-death rescues all over South Africa.  He’s also a skilled drone pilot, which they use to find people in distress, pinpoint trouble spots and so on.

“Sally” is Mark’s mother, and her husband is New Wife’s brother (who just spent Christmas with us) so Mark is my nephew by marriage, so to speak.

Words cannot express our pride in him and his work.

Exposure

Men & Women

Some woman is griping about men (I know, what else is new?), specifically that men get grumpier as they get past the age of 25.

The anonymous poster took to the British parenting forum Mumsnet, where she explained that a friend once told her men get grumpier as they age – and now that she’s in her forties, she has noticed this in her male peers.

…and predictably, a bunch of other womyns pile on.

Allow me, then, to propose a counter-theory:

As men get older, their exposure to women increases and accumulates… and THAT’S what makes them progressively grumpier.

Of course, I may be wrong;  but you have to admit, it’s a valid argument.

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:

“I’ve been on my fair share of dates, but after a difficult break-up nine months ago followed by a string of mediocre-at-best encounters, I’ve been feeling a bit hopeless about the modern dating landscape.

“I’m on three different dating apps but, to be honest, I’ve come very close to giving up altogether. Before I throw in the towel, however, I have decided to try something very different to my usual swipe-by-gut-instinct tactics.

“I am ‘astro-dating’ — choosing dates that are astrologically a good fit for me.

“So could cosmic dating help me bag a date for Valentine’s?

“The first challenge was finding men willing to give me their full birth chart without having ever met me. As anyone who has ever done internet dating knows, it’s hard enough to get past the swiping stage, and I admit several men ghosted me the second I mentioned star signs. Nonetheless, through a combination of ruthless flirting and the promise of free drinks, I managed to find six men who were game.

“Next up was a birth chart consultation with Yasmin Boland, astrologer and moonologer, to find out who, out of the six, I’d be most compatible with. Yasmin, a best-selling author, has been an internationally successful ‘spiritual guide’ for the past two decades and focuses on helping others find their path in life, work and, crucially, love through astrological compatibility.

“Am I on the right track?”

— Star-Struck, England

Dear Starfucked:

You didn’t mention visiting the Oracle at Delphi, or having a sacerdos consult the entrails of a chicken, so you may have missed a couple of steps on your voyage towards total insanity I mean romantic happiness.  (Oh, and by the way, the traditional term for “moonologer” is “lunatic”.)

Allow me to suggest a better filter system than relying on the light of stars which may or may not have already gone out, and it involves a simple checklist of questions.  Here it is:

  1. Do you have a favorite gun?  If so, which and why?
  2. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
  3. Are you a vegetarian or vegan?
  4. Do you have a liberal arts degree, or else a degree in something that is actually worth anything in the job market?
  5. Do you believe in astrology or unicorns?
  6. Turbo-charged V6 or naturally-aspirated V12?
  7. Do you own, or want to own a Prius?
  8. Do you believe that the only reason that socialism has failed everywhere it has been tried is because it just hasn’t been implemented properly?

Now, the answers:

  1. “I don’t like guns” — immediate disqualification.  “Glock” — not a disqualification, but understand that some work may be necessary.  “Do you mean handgun, rifle or shotgun?” — definitely a candidate for romance.
  2. “I don’t like alcohol” — immediate disqualification.  “Chablis/IPA” — not a disqualification, but understand that some work may be necessary. “Wine grown on the sunny slopes of…” — poseur alert, your call.  “Whatever gets me drunk quickest” — you may want to be careful with this one.  Or not.  “Depends on the occasion, the company and my mood” — strong candidate.
  3. “Yes” — run FAR away.
  4. “Liberal Arts” — approach with caution;  needs clarification (e.g. Anything Studies: no).  “Engineering” — considerable work may be necessary.  “Never saw the need for a degree, because I wanted to start my own construction business” — strong candidate.
  5. “Yes” — run away.
  6. “Neither because they’re causing climate change” — immediate disqualification.  “Actually, a turbo 4-cylinder is all I need” — not a bad answer, but be careful, especially if also an IPA-drinker.  “Well, I like both, but I prefer off-roading in my old truck” — strong candidate.
  7. “Yes” — run away.
  8. “Yes” — run FAR away.

These simple questions will be all the pre-qualifiers you’ll ever need.

Or you can just choose the astrological / chicken entrails path, you fucking loser.