A couple-three hours of soft listening music for your Friday night. Pour yourself a glass or so of your favorite brown liquor, sit back and enjoy.
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News Roundup
Ah yes: let’s play “mock the Southerner”. Then again, rather them than the Juneteenth celebrants.
...and for once, playing “Guess The Race?” is completely redundant.
Our new feature, Anus News:
...as the next item will reveal:
…
And speaking of assholes:
...he should have charged them with theft, or shot them on site. See the link for details.
Some Pervert News:
...actually, no. We really, really hate you.
...I think “Hang The Groomer” should be part of every right-thinking curriculum.
...see above.
Some news from the Bureaucracy:
...clearly, the local government doesn’t have enough to do — which, if you’ve ever been to Galveston, you’d know isn’t true. Everything that’s wrong with government is contained in this report.
International News:
...frankly, I’m amazed at their restraint.
...ah yes, the argument between the Gourd Group and the Sandal Followers rages on, yea unto the 21st century.
...shoddy reporting. Was it a hatchet? a logger’s axe? or did the shithead go Full Viking? Whatever, the KiwiGov is going to doubleplus ban it. I think that all restaurants should be closed, to end this vicious cycle of mass attacks on diners. (What? it’s the same argument they use for guns.)
...I first read that as “Anal sex”. Never mind; carry on, nothing to see here.
And speaking of stuff not worth seeing, how about a little INSIGNIFICA:
...sexist bastards.
In in our Paige Three section, someone not Spirinac:
And away we go down the road, putting all this behind us.
Dept. Of Righteous Shootings
…and a Happy Father’s Day to you too. Ignore all the “allegeds”. This was absolutely justified.
A Wilson’s Mills, North Carolina, father shot and killed an alleged intruder Sunday night after the suspect allegedly accosted the man’s 11-year-old daughter.
Details at the link. And if this story doesn’t give you the Warm & Fuzzies, we can’t be friends.
Quote Of The Day
In response to their very own “New Coke Moment”, Anheuser Busch has released a new ad, prompting this somewhat sour response:
Morons.
Caption Competition #285
Your suggestions in Comments.
Phoniness & Fakery
I almost, but not quite had a Red Cloud Of Blood (RCOB) moment when I saw this little piece of snot:
The biggest automaker in the world is reportedly working on an electric vehicle prototype that mimics the feel of driving a manual transmission, complete with a gear shift that’s not connected to anything and a floor-mounted speaker to pipe in fake engine noises. The car will even pretend to stall out if you fumble the controls — in order to deliver drivers the complete experience of driving a manual car.
…in other words, turning their already-shit cars into the automotive equivalent of a RealDoll.
Here’s my thought on the matter: what with the Kardashians, CNN and Gavin Newsom (to name but some examples), I think we’ve got all the fake shit we need around here.
The thing that stopped me from a full-blown RCOB and made this just a Tut-Tut Moment was the recollection that I’m never going to own or even drive an electric car, ever. It would be like Macy’s announcing that they’re going to be selling onion-flavored toffee — nauseating, yes; but I never shop at Macy’s, I’m not in the toffee market, and am therefore unaffected.
And as for a “gear shift that’s not connected to anything”, I can think of no better description of Joe Biden.