Frankly, I kinda prefer the days when most women were tranq’d up and calmer.  Still:

…

From the Dept. Of Education:

…

...keyword:  Wales.  Frankly, I don’t see the fuss — no kids involved, just some chick who likes doing sex things with a chance of being caught in the act.

And speaking of sex things:

...lock up your fathers.

...FFS, Hermione:  get a grip.

From the High Crimes & Misdemeanors Files:

...which it is.  And on the topic of theft:

...if the LA cops aren’t going to charge goblins for theft, then citizens will just mete out their own justice.

...that’s a little ironic, seeing as it’s the Fibbies who are most likely to be doing the hacking.

And in Business News:

...Xerox could not be reached for comment.

...let me see… oh, none anywhere near Plano.  Thanks for nothing, assholes.

In the very bowels of INSIGNIFICA:

   

...next shocker:  men wank watching PornHub.

Finally, in Fashion News:

...not too surprising;  a lot of men like meat on their bones.  It’s only the homo fashion designers with little-boy fetishes who prefer them skeletal.

And that’s all the news that’s fat to print.