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Many A True Word

Business

…spoken in jest, as the saying goes.  Here’s the jest:

…and here are the true words.

Back when I was a business consultant, I belonged to a share group of same-industry consultants who would meet twice a year at some pleasure spot (#BusinessDeduction) to swap stories, pass on potential leads and so on.

I was moaning about a recent catastrophe which had befallen me (details unimportant, but “fuckwit client” will suffice), when everyone at the table laughed, and one of the guys said:

“Never take on a gig when the client CEO has a Harvard MBA.”

And it’s true.  Not only are these ivory-tower assholes devoid of any true business sense, but the Harvard MBA must be a pretty shitty course, judging by their track record in the real world that I swam around in.  (That particular company failed, spectacularly, and the CEO left the country for a while.)

The only reason I can think of for anyone to get an MBA is if their undergrad course didn’t include things like Accounting, Stat or Marketing.

3 Worst Christmas Presents

Friday Feature, The Worst

…either to give, or to get.  First, the pricey ones:

  • One-way air ticket to New York City
  • Toyota Prius (with 50,000 miles on the clock)
  • Free weekend at the downtown Seattle Holiday Inn

Next, the “Well-Meaning But Still Crap” ones:

  • Gas station pocket knife
  • Cheap Chinese-made car tool set
  • Box of corrosive Warsaw Pact-era mil-surp rifle ammo

Then the cheap-ass ones:

  • $5 gift card for Domino’s Pizza
  • scented candle
  • coffee mug with some shit like “World’s Best [whatever]” printed on it

Your suggestions in Comments.

News Roundup

Bad News


(Ad may have been slightly edited to bring it up to date, because nobody wants a Buick anymore…)

Some news you may not have been aware of:


...not to mention that 75,000-mile “new battery” cost.



...wait, what?



...okay, that’s more like it.

From the Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© Dept.:


...you know, there are times when I think we can learn a lot from the French.

In Entertainment News:


...007(a) and 007(b)?

From the Glueball Jewhate News Desk:


...but if I were to do the same outside some mosque shouting “Drown Gaza City!” the response would be a lot swifter, and more severe.

And a “new” development in the Great Cultural Assimilation Program:


...no doubt, on his third or fourth illegal entry into the U.S. via our “secure” border.

In Election News:


...”and that’s only if she campaigns topless from now on”.

And in International News:


...”because we terrorists have to stick together, right?”

In Animal News:


...is it too much to hope that it was a Birkenstock?

And in INSIGNIFICA:

    ...the ducal dildo?
 

…

Finally, in somewhat-more-palatable Showbiz News:


...just so you all know what the poor man had to deal with, here she is:

Looking a little more perverse, so to speak:

And still not bad, even though a (fake) blonde:

The line to be her next co-star forms over here, behind me.