Schadenböner Alert

You would have to have a heart of stone not to pee yourself laughing at this one, and I don’t:

Several Harvard University students came out quickly after Saturday’s terrorist attacks in Israel to blame Israelis for the carnage and support Hamas.

Public scrutiny fell on these individuals and now many appear to regret their pro-Hamas position.

The Harvard Arab Alumni Association has reportedly put out a statement requesting aid for the students whose first reaction was to stand in solidarity with the terrorists who raped, killed, captured, and decapitated innocent civilians.

”They may require legal counsel, healthcare, mental health support, financial aid, or mentorship to navigate these turbulent and uncertain times,” the statement reads.

The Harvard Arab Alumni Association has expressed concern for the students’ “immigration status and future career prospects.”

Deport those who qualify, and put the rest on food stamps for, oh, the next twenty years.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to attend to my clothing.

Writer Loses Balls

…and to his own daughter, no less:

Four Weddings and a Funeral writer Richard Curtis says he was ‘stupid and wrong’ for the way he wrote about women and joked about people’s size in his films after he was confronted by his own daughter.

Curtis, 66, says he regrets much of his work and he was ‘unobservant’ and ‘not as clever’ as he should have been.

The comedy screenwriter poured scorn over many of his films and said he would never use the words ‘fat’ and ‘chubby’ again.

Oh FFS.  One of the best parts about the achingly-funny Four Weddings  movie was that I could recognize every single one of those appalling female characters in girls of my own acquaintance.  I had also been to weddings of similar ilk several times — okay, nobody actually died of a heart attack during any of them, but someone in the bridal party did noisily puke her guts out during the groom’s speech, which surely qualifies.

Also, one of the main attractions of Four Weddings  was the realistic dialogue — once again, I’ve heard people say things precisely as they were uttered in the movie, only with a South African accent.

Four Weddings And A Funeral  was of its time, people actually spoke, thought and behaved like that, and it saddens me to no end to think that its creator has forgotten the whole point of the satire he so wonderfully wrote.

All because his pissy little woke daughter objected.

Oh Diddums

I would have posted a link, but the article is slammed behind a paywall.  Still, we have ways…

Viagra is turning the UK into a nation of dirty old men – it should be banned

PETRONELLA WYATT
12 October 2023 • 6:00pm

There are not many upsides to growing older, but surely the freedom from 80-something sex addicts on pills is one of them

Then follows a whole bunch of words, basically going wah wah wah men are pigs, even old ones.  My take:  shut the fuck up and leave us alone, you foul harpy.  (I should point out that said harpy was once extramaritally bonked by Boris Johnson…)  Read the rest, if you want.

Read more

Yeah, Whatever

Here’s a big nothingburger for you:

The Jockey Club have taken the dramatic decision to cut the Randox Grand National field size by 15 per cent to safeguard the Aintree spectacular’s future.

Next April, the world’s most famous race will see a maximum of 34 runners go to post instead of 40. The Jockey Club, who run Aintree, believe it is imperative to make the move now and say they have taken the decision in the interest of the health and safety of all human and equine participants.

News flash: nobody cares.  The only reason most people (including me and my Readers) show any interest in Aintree at all is this:

 

Yep;  Train Smash Women, in all their magnificent failures.  The races?  Only for the owners and jockeys.

Unexpectedly

Yeah, nobody saw this one coming:

Illinois’ new “assault weapon” and magazine ban is in effect, and on October 1, that state opened its registry for grandfathered weapons and magazines so that owners who already have legally purchased weapons can register them with the state. Illinois gun owners, of course, rushed to register their weapons and magazines in compliance with the new law.

Just kidding. Almost nobody has registered anything.

As part of the Protect Illinois Communities Act that was enacted earlier this year, the registration portal for firearms owners in Illinois that own certain semi-automatic firearms, accessories and ammunition opened Oct. 1. While the law bans more than 170 semi-automatic rifles, shotguns and handguns, it also bans handgun magazines over 15 rounds and rifle magazines over 10 rounds. Magazines do not have to be registered. 

Illinois State Police published the first round of statistics Tuesday, and of more than 2.4 million Firearm Owner ID card holders, 1,050 individuals have registered a total of 3,202 firearms, .50 caliber ammunition and accessories. 

“You’re at 0.0004%. That’s a rounding error,” gun rights advocate Todd Vandermyde told The Center Square.

To be fair, as Glenn Reynolds would say, that’s about half the number of Connecticut gun owners who rushed to register their AR-15s etc. after a similar law was passed there.

ILGov Fatboi Pritzker must be shitting in his capacious pants.