Sore Losers

Speaking of the U.S. Men’s hockey team, there’s this little reaction from our cousins to the north:

Team USA has returned to gold medal form, and the Canadians couldn’t be more upset about it. It’s an all time cope and seethe sessions from our neighbors to the north, and their rage couldn’t be more hilarious. Thankfully, our fellow Americans have done their patriotic duty and rage-baited the canucks into oblivion over the past two days.

Read the post and follow the links therein for the full flavor.

And my personal condolences to my Canuki Readers

So Much For That Trend

People have been moaning recently about how Gen Z kids aren’t having sex anymore, also seeming to prefer hanging out on porn websites or (worse) relying on A.I.-created partners for their jollies.

Well as it turns out, that’s apparently not true for all Gen Z kids:

The village where Winter Olympics athletes are staying in Milan has reportedly run out of condoms after slashing its supply from 300,000 to a mere 10,000.

I would have thought that the condom needs for just the Swedish Olympians would have emptied [sic]  that supply — the Swedes (Winter and Summer) being generally regarded as the most prolific users thereof — but hey, I guess the Olympics Committee was trying to save money or something.

I guess it’s also quite telling that these kids felt they could rely on “government” to take care of their every need.  (Without any proof, though, I’m pretty sure that most of the American kids brought their own supplies of said items with them — I know I would have, under such circumstances.)

And just to head one argument off at the pass, let’s at least acknowledge that when you throw a group of superbly-fit youngsters from all over the world together into confined quarters, they’re going to go at it like rabbits.  (And the organizers need to be kicked in the ass for thinking that these young Olympians were going to be any different from previous athletes.)

No need to spend time at PornHub or ai.com when you can have easy access to real-life willing bodies, after all.

Worshipping Laundry

In earlier times (i.e. last week), this bit of news might have made the files:

The Athletics, formerly of Oakland, are all excited about their impending move to Las Vegas. But they may have to change their name before they go there.

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office denied multiple requests from the A’s for the names “Las Vegas Athletics” and “Vegas Athletics.” The requested trademarks were denied on the grounds the names were “too generic.”

As reporter Josh Gerben writes, “According to the USPTO, the dominant portion of each mark refers to a well-known geographic location (Las Vegas) while the remaining wording, ‘Athletics,’ lacks distinctiveness as applied to the goods and services identified in the applications.

“The examining attorney noted that ‘athletics’ is defined as ‘activities such as sports, exercises, and games that require physical skill and stamina,’ and concluded that the term directly describes ‘the purpose and feature of the applicant’s goods and services.’ As a result, the USPTO found that the marks merely describe a professional sports team located in Las Vegas rather than functioning as unique indicators of source.”

And then you can just fall asleep, assuming you haven’t already done so.

My take:

Back in the day, a sports team’s ethos was all bound up with their ties to their hometown and its fans.  Now?  It really doesn’t matter, because all the hoopla about the “storied franchises” and associated bollocks is tinsel on a dying tree.

As long as a team stuck with what made them unique — e.g. the Pittsburgh Steelers, a name which tied the team both to the city and to the industry which gave the place their ethos (not to mention that the name is kick-ass good) — then there was something to be said for the “brand”.

But if tomorrow the Steelers were decide to move to Shreveport LA, thus giving up everything — the city, their fans, the players, the history — that made them what they are, then why should they try to cling to the Steelers name?  Because without all the other stuff, all they are is, as Jerry Seinfeld so wonderfully put it once in an excellent rant, laundry.

Nowadays, very few players are associated with teams either, because instead of the players choosing loyalty to the team and the city which made them famous, they swap teams (or are traded) to the point where you need to look at their resume just to track their career path.  (Baseball management, by the way, has pretty much made a business out of treating players like disposable resources, and the players have responded in kind by treating each team as nothing more than a meal ticket, so I have little time for either teams or players and their problems.)

And thus with the Oakland As (not “A’s”, FFS), who once represented the city and neighborhood as the gritty working-class underdogs they always were.  So they want to leave Oakland and go play their little game in Las Vegas, but keep their nickname?  Hell, as I see it, the “generic” quality of their desired name(s) actually suits them just fine, because when they decide to quit Las Vegas for Tallahassee or whatever, they can just take their meaningless name with them.

Nailbiting

I know:  most of y’all have about as much interest in Formula One as I do about soap operas.

However:  the last race of the 2025 F1 season will take place this weekend on some track in the Arabian desert #DontCare, and it promises to be quite unlike the usual formation-lap snore fest.

At the middle of the season, current (and four-time) champion Max Verstappen was 100-odd points adrift of the top of the standings, driving a car which was not in the same class as the eventual manufacturer’s champions McLaren (who clinched the title a couple races back).

Thanks to his incredible skill behind the wheel, and aided by said McLaren team totally screwing up their race strategy in the past two races, Verstappen finds himself in actual contention for his fifth (consecutive!) driver’s championship in the final race.  He’ll need some help from McLaren, of course, but given their recent screwups that’s not completely out of the picture — and as both McLaren drivers are 1-2 in the standings and are after the same title, there’s also a good chance that they’ll collide with each other and take themselves out of the picture, leaving it all to Verstappen.  One thing is for sure:  if it’s just up to his own driving, he’s an odds-on favorite

Anyway, I told you all that so I can share this, said before the Las Vegas Grand Prix:

Me, I’m rooting for Max this weekend.

Fan Attack

This story reminded me of an experience I suffered.

Football team rivalries are often at the heart of banter in the workplace.  But fans can be legally denied jobs by a potential employer if current staff support a rival team, a judge has ruled.  Companies are allowed to base recruitment decisions on whether a prospective colleague might ‘damage office harmony’, Employment Judge Daniel Wright said.  As such, he said, the boss of a business would not break employment law if he rejected a job application from a Tottenham Hotspur season ticket holder because his office is full of Arsenal fans.

It’s a good thing that this was not a big deal when I first started working for the Great Big Research Company in Chicago, after The Great Wetback Episode of 1986.  Some back story is necessary.

When I first arrived in Murka back then, I stayed with Friend Trevor in Austin TX while my visa issues were resolved (long story, not worth the telling).  Anyway, Trevor was hooked into some cocktail party or other so I tagged along.

I didn’t know anybody, of course, so I was leaning against the bar watching the passing parade — oy, what a show, Austin High Society in full swing — when a very tall blonde guy of about 50 walked over to get a drink, and we started chatting.  Turns out that Bob was actually the recipient of this party, as his photographs were being displayed.  They were extremely good, and I complimented him accordingly (being myself at the time a very keen amateur clicker).  We chatted about f-stops and such for a while, and after that I felt comfortable in asking him whether pro photography was that profitable as a career.  He looked amused, and said, “It’s pretty much a retirement career for me.”  So of course I asked him what he’d done before, and again that amused look.  “I played for the Dallas Cowboys,” he said.

I’d been chatting to Bob Lilly, legendary cornerstone of the Cowboys’ Doomsday Defense, Hall of Famer and “Mr. Cowboy” himself.

Of course I apologized for my gaucheness in not knowing who he was — blamed my ignorance on my recent immigration — but he just laughed and said, “It’s actually been a pleasure talking to someone who doesn’t want to ask me all about that damn Green Bay game in 1966.”

A lovely man and a thorough gentleman.  (I was struck by his enormous hands — I have fairly large hands myself, but when we shook hands, mine disappeared into his grip completely — but his touch while firm was quite gentle, which I think is fitting of the man himself.)  Anyway, on the strength of that fine encounter and because of where I was living, I became a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Which really helped when I moved to Chicago, home of “Da Bearce”, in 1987.

The Bears and their fans were still living in the glow of their 1985 Superbowl victory, and my status as a Cowboys fan was not helped by that infamous 1989 season (quarterback Troy Aikman’s first) in which the Cowboys went 1-15.  Many were the rude comments sent my way — “Of all the teams in the NFL you could have chosen to support, you had to pick the Cowboys?” — but I just grinned and made sure to wear my Cowboys sweater at all office functions which didn’t require a suit and tie.

It helped that only a couple years later the Cowboys beat the Bears in the playoffs, and the anti-Cowboy jibes ended completely in 1991 when the Cowboys won the first of their several Super Bowls under Aikman and Jimmy Johnson, and the Bears became a second-rate team (then, and since).

Anyway, as being a sports fan in Murka is nowhere near as partisan a thing as it is in Third World countries like Britishland, my job at the GBRC was never insecure, in either the getting or the keeping, thank goodness.


I should mention that I’m no longer a Cowboys fan — no special reason, I just don’t care for American football, preferring actual football (where the ball is played with the feet instead of being carried like an egg or tossed like a beanbag).

Go ahead and hate.